Author Daniel Parmeggiani explores the nature of true forgiveness and asks whether we are all truly innocent.

Forgiveness is a central theme in all spiritual traditions. According to A Course in Miracles, “Forgiveness is the only sane response in any situation.”Likewise, spiritual teachers from Jesus to Yogananda to the Dalai Lama have taught us that forgiveness and non-judgment are the way to lasting peace and real love.

And yet we do not seem to get it.

Although the goal has been made abundantly clear to us, we cannot make any sense out of loving our enemies across a courtroom, or of turning the other cheek after someone nails us with a left hook. Before we forgive, we demand fairness, an eye for an eye, a molar for a molar. We expect those who wronged us to offer their sincere apology and to make amends before we begin to even consider pardoning them. We also need to be sure they have admitted their guilt and have sufficiently agonized over what they have done to us. Furthermore, we demand proof that they have changed their ways so we can be sure they will never wrong us again. Only then are we capable of heartfelt forgiveness. And there are offenses that we never seem to forgive.

The same strict conditions (or worse) usually apply when it comes to ourselves. Before we can forgive ourselves for any error we may have committed, we need to feel that we have done sufficient hard time. Have we paid the price for our mistakes? Have we made up for them in full? Are we capable of repeating them? We may even see ourselves as deserving of perpetual self-punishment for some of our past errors and offenses, creating for ourselves a mental hell that never ends.

So how can we practice true, heartfelt forgiveness?

The key to real, heartfelt and effortless forgiveness is the realization that judgment was never justified in the first place. In essence, the answer is simply to stop judging. Period. And when we stop judging, forgiveness becomes obsolete, for what is there to forgive if one never judges?

So then, the next question becomes, how can we stop judging everything and everybody?

Thankfully, there’s a key for this as well. The key to non-judgment, and therefore complete and effortless forgiveness, is to view everybody as absolutely innocent. Clearly, if we are all always innocent, then we are never guilty and never deserve judgment. Consequently, the awareness of our absolute innocence is a magical shift in perception where we no longer feel the need to constantly assign blame.

The awareness of our innocence means seeing someone commit a mean or selfish act and realizing that he or she couldn’t have done otherwise at the time. It is knowing that if you truly were in his or her shoes you would have acted the same (by being in his or her shoes I mean having the same past experiences, perception of reality, and state of awareness that they had at the time). It is the certainty that we are all equal, and there is no difference in quality between any two human beings.

This finally leads us to the question that everything hangs on: Are we really all innocent as I am claiming? The answer is yes, and the reason is that our deepest motivation that lies behind everything we do is always pure. Deep down, we all equally share the same uplifting, unifying, and divine will to aspire to harmony, peace, and love. We are all after the same thing in the end; we all share the same ultimate goal, and we are all always doing the best we can with what we know to get closer to our destination. Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, their desired destination was the same as ours; they just happened to know the way. So, if in darkness we could not see, it is ignorance we should blame, if we are to blame at all.

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

Understanding the basis of our innocence is what makes non-judgment and, by extension, real forgiveness possible. I invite you to learn more about this and other crucial subjects on April 29th 2014, when my book The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence becomes available. The book is now available for pre-order at a specially discounted rate of 20% off for a limited time. Please click the link on the right side of this article and your copy will be mailed to you on 29th April 2014.

What do you think about real forgiveness? Leave your comments below!

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Daniel Parmeggiani

10th April 2014

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