Benjamin Mumford-Zisk's Blog

Sometimes I like to weigh myself before I pee, and then again after I done, to see if I weigh any less.

I never do, but it's fun to think about.

I like Facebook. It's fun to watch.






Apparently we feel bad looking at Facebook, because it presents an idealized perspective of others to which our own life can never measure up. Such poise. Such beauty. How could I ever be so divine?



But I think we are getting past that. And that's promising, to me. Because it means that Facebook can make us see others and ourselves in a new light. We can adapt to the images we see, and adapt our thinking to fit the new reality.



For example, most of yo...

SnnrrrrrrrrrkWHAT?

Hello?

Who turned on the lights in here?

...when did we get lights?

Who's there?

Oh.

Hi there.


So you found the place. Pardon me, stretching is important to a good day's work. You found the place. Not a lot going on these last few months, he's been elsewhere.

Listen, if you have that much of a problem with a man's body while he stretches in front of you, look away.

No one is forcing you to look at those.



Hard to say what to do with a blog, really. Ben had a hard time when he built th...

There's something wrong with the axial tilt of this planet. All the sunlight is going to the wrong places. Clearly this is an Australian plot to bring about the collapse of the American Empire through strategic crop failure and induced depression.

I'm onto you, you drop-bear chucking sonsa bitches.

Times like this I reflect on...something. I should begin the greater body of the piece with 'times like this, I reflect on..." except I missed the comma in the first iteration and we've come too f...

I've got a cuppa on my desk. It's hot, steaming. Black. Strong. Just the way I like my...well, my coffee. This isn't Airplane.

I've also got a cup, on my desk. It used to be a cuppa. And then I went out for the night and left the mug on my desk and now it's still there.

It's a nice mug. My mom made it. I've drank a lot of coffee out of that mug.

I've drank a lot of old coffee out of that mug, today.

God help me. I've been on my grind, lately. A big part of what I'm doing with my head these days...

I sold a lot of books in the last three days.
I sold more than 600, in two days.
I made

no money at all, because all the books were free. But I've got six hundred readers out there right now, so there you GO! I was #3 in free space opera downloads! I moved up to the 997,000th spot on the bestseller list OF ALL TIME! I was, briefly, a gulden's god. I was the mustard-yellow face of benevolence shining down upon the hot dog masses.

And now it's over.

Moo hoo ha ha THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING...

Been a while since I wrote anything. Let me catch you up.
A while back I went to Brooklyn for the climate rally. I had the Brooklyn experience with Brooklyn people, which is to say obnoxiously well put together people who were doing so much better in their professional lives it made me SICK. And they were all so damn HOT! And NICE! And WELCOMING! Bastards. You have to have some flaws, it's not fair otherwise.

Maybe they're all satanists. Or furries.

Anyway.
Seemed like everyone I met was involv...

Chapter 15

The Commons is a two-block pedestrian mall plopped in the center of downtown, boxed in between four main roads, all of which are one way. It takes a special kind of psychopath to create a quarter mile roundabout at the base of two hills, but Ithaca has boasted some pretty interesting people over the years.

There are trees, and pavilions, and public art and plenty of places to sit, and if you don’t pay close attention it’s a very pleasant place. Twenty-five years ago it wa...

FIREFIGHT I landed hard and fast in front of house, dismantled the ship and walked onto the porch. I made a lot of noise. Kimball and Mallory spun around and took aim.

“There’s a man,” Kimball said quietly.

Cab shifted uneasily.

“If they put up a fight, don’t get fancy,” I said. “I want normal violence, got it?” I hopped the last step and knocked on the door, then stepped back and to the right, out of the cone of death. If they answered the door with a shotgun blast I didn’t want to have to...

Sunday, September 7, 6:00-7:00, 93.5 WVBR FM

Tuesday, September 9, 4:00-5:00, Radio Praxis (Podcast)

Tuesday, September 16, 6:00-7:00, book reading/signing, Buffalo Street Books

Saturday, September 27, 9:00-9:30, Tompkins County Library Readathon, Tompkins County Library.


Sunday, September 7th, from 6:00-7:00 I will be on 93.5 WVBR waxing poetic about the book, writing the book, science fiction, and my favorite subject, poet wax. It's important to wax your poet with a good, high quality poet w...