There's something wrong with the axial tilt of this planet. All the sunlight is going to the wrong places. Clearly this is an Australian plot to bring about the collapse of the American Empire through strategic crop failure and induced depression.

I'm onto you, you drop-bear chucking sonsa bitches.

Times like this I reflect on...something. I should begin the greater body of the piece with 'times like this, I reflect on..." except I missed the comma in the first iteration and we've come too f...