Tonya Coffey's Blog

When I write on these blogs I usually go on and on about my life because I honestly need someone to vent to. I hope you don't mind to read it but if you don't that's fine, you don't have to.

This week I've had more anxiety, stress and frustrations then I've had my entire life. I thought when my oldest son telling me he was joining the military and he was entering the infantry program to be on the front lines was bad, but it wasn't.
My youngest son, who will be 18 next month, comes home and tells us that his 18 year old girlfriend's mom kicked her out of the house because she stood up for my son. The mother went on to say that she would inflict violent harm to my son and told her daughter to leave if she felt he could treat her better...
So many things, so much drama has flooded my home. I get calls with threats, with words to make me not trust my child but I will not stand by and let this mother believe she can do this to my family.
My son and this girl have been dating for four years. They got engaged, which the mother agreed to...my son asked her first...she was happy about it. Now she wants my son to not exist anymore.
I thought maybe the mom would cool off and realize that she made a mistake by doing what she did but it's been four days and she hasn't called her daughter. She's called me saying she has tried and she won't answer... She called me a liar, saying she didn't call me... The mom called my son an abusive drunk...I didn't know how to respond to this. My son has a heart condition. He goes to the doctor regularly, works at a factory and he goes to school. The only time he is alone is when he's driving between each of these places.
I just don't know what to do or how to act. I want to cry, to scream. But I'm the type of person who lets all this emotion build up inside of me. I won't confront her because I can't. I'm the scared little girl women are afraid their daughters will grow up to be like.
When he first told me that her mom threw her out, the first thing that popped into my head - she's pregnant... My husband and I sit down with him and talked to him. He said she wasn't and he knows how lies are saw in this house. You do not lie in this house. And I've never thought otherwise with both my kids but I'm not stupid. I know things happen with kids that age.
I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack...I try not to think about it. I try to do my work but it's like the mom's words consume me. I'm in the middle of two stories and I don't know which is true...I believe my son but what if he's not telling me everything? I think that's my greatest fear. I think that's why I'm so worried.

All I can do is ask God to help me. To give me strength because I need it so much.
Does anyone have any advice?

It's been a while since I sat down and wrote anything here. I've been extremely busy with life at home and all the books.

I'm writing now because I need your support. Would you please vote for my new book cover...

http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/

I would greatly appreciate any votes or shares!

Thanks so much

So I have been writing for many years. I took some classes on how to create novels and stories for children. I didn't attend college or get a degree in writing. I know I'm not perfect when it comes to writing sentences without any errors. I am working on it.
I don't like how other authors treat ones who haven't spent years in a university. I'm not saying every author does this but I dislike how people can stand in front of your face and speak to you with sentences filled with words I have to look up in a dictionary. Yeah, I'm not smart. So what, it doesn't mean I can't come up with a great story and tell it. It's as if they are trying to look more important because they can talk the way they are.
When I talked to this person, they treated me as if I had no business being an author. They asked how long I'd been writing, why I chose to be one, where I went to school, who my publisher was, did I pay to have my book published, and a bunch of other stuff. As I answered his questions, I watched his facial expressions. I am the type person that I will smile and show respect. I never act as if I am better than anyone. It wasn't how I was raised. Anyway, this person laughed at a few of my answers then sighed as he pointed out my history of no education would be my downfall. No sensible publishing house would take a writer without knowledge of grammar.
Huh?
I smiled and said thank you and went on my way. I try not to let things like this bother me but should I? Does it matter that I don't have a paper hanging on my wall telling I went to a big university and was at the top of the Dean's list? I don't get why people like this think they are better than me because they have more education.

I am a big animal person. I would have to be since I grew up on a farm. When I was little, I always imagined myself having dozens of cats, dogs, sheep, goats and horses.
Unfortunately I don't! I have a dog and a cat.
Back in November, the cat that my son found had become part of our family for two years and a few months. If was the first cat my husband liked. I felt as if he was a part of our family. When he was hit by a car, it broke us. We were devastated by the loss. My son who had adopted him wanted another. I wasn't so inclined on taking in another cat since we were so close to the other but we did. He found one on Facebook that he loved and we brought him home. He was tiny. The woman we got him from sad he was 8 weeks old but I don't think he was. I believe closer to 6. Any way that cat has made me love him. I tried not to like him because no matter what I did I thought of the other cat. Our new one will hide when you walk out the door and bounce sideways with his back stuck up in the air. It is so cute. And like the sucker I am, I love him. I call him my baby and I despise the road in front of my house. My son locks him up at night so he doesn't wander off but he has been taking longer strolls in the day. I think he's looking for another, if you know what i mean. lol. Well two nights he was gone. He didn't come home till late in the morning. Today, when I let him out of his cage, he took off in a run for the woods. It has been 6 hours and I haven't seen him.
It makes me sad. I hope he comes home.

I have been working nonstop on book 3, Pink Moon, of my series. I have done the first couple of drafts and am now in the final rewrite before I send it to my publisher. I am worried however that I may have taken it into a direction that doesn't make a lot of sense. The main points are still there, I just let one of the characters drift off more. They are lost you could say.
When I started the book, I had a clear sight of what I wanted to happen at the end, the middle and the beginning. For some odd reason, things happened in between each of these places that make me wonder if I should completely redo the book.
I think I'm just second guessing myself since writers are there own worst critiques.
I don't know though. What to do?
I think I will read it all over again, really focus on the small things and make my decision.

I'm not big on voicing my opinion when it comes to politics. I listen to what each candidate has to say then I cast my own vote to help me or my family. People don't sway my opinion either way or another. It's my choice.
So my small town is in a debate on whether to have alcohol in stores. Our county has voted on his topic at least four times in the last few years. I may be exaggerating because I think you have to wait so many years before you can resubmit the petition again. Anyway, our county sits in the center of a dozen other counties who already sell alcohol. Our neighbors, where my husband works, started selling a few years ago. Their town has already grown, bringing in three big restaurants, of course liquor stores and a healthy tax which they expanded their police and made the park even better. I read the small school even received money for better computers and other things the classes didn't have before.
As I drive down the road and I see Vote No signs and I hear people saying it would be wrong to have it in the county, I wonder why they are so against it. They worry their kids will purchase it. Kids will get their hands on it one way or another. If a teen wants to try alcohol they will, it doesn't matter if they sell it in the county they grew up in or not.
I heard bars would move it and destroy what little peace we had. This isn't the seventies when bars where the only place to drink. Families do alot of stuff in restaurants where you can buy drinks. Applebees, Renos, Texas Roadhouse, Olive Garden, and there are so many more that are family restaurants.
The biggest thing I heard was DUI's would increase. Would someone who has to drive an extra thirty minutes be more likely to open a can and drink it on the way home or someone who buys it ten minutes from their home? Umm makes you understand why DUI's are big right now.
I get why people are worried. They think the town will fall into a dark spiraling spin of drunks and parties. If I had to be honest, I think I would rather have drunks then the druggies that run our town now. I believe if you teach your kids about alcohol and you show them it isn't something that is the devils elixir then they wouldn't want to get drunk. They would respect it more.
My opinion of the vote. I want it to go through. I would love for our poor, backwoods county to become something other then the drug and welfare rich county it is. I want my kids to have somewhere better to live. I want them to settle in here when they get out of school.
We need jobs. We need tourism but we can't have anything if our county doesn't want to change with the times.
It's sad when Christian volunteers who come from out of state have to take their families into the next county to sit down at a restaurant, drink wine and watch a movie. What a waste of money our county could be using.

I had a wonderful time last night at my book signing. I meet a bunch of people who didn't know about the first book and fans who came to buy the second. One girl in particular inspires me more than I do her. She is a teenager who wants to become a writer one day. She has a leg up on her goal, she writes for the local newspaper and I'm very proud of her.
We talk through email and I hope one day she becomes the author she wants to be, because I think she has lots of potential and drive.
It's strange how it makes a person feel standing next to their books and people glance at you as they walk by. I'm in a library so I hate to ask them to buy my book, but I do. I ask them how they are, if they like fantasy and tell them about the series. Usually, 8 out of 10 will tell me sorry, they don't have any money. So I smile and say well they have here in the library you can check it out. They usually smile bigger than me and say, I will defiantly do that.
I understand how hard it is for most people and I don't expect everyone to buy a book but I hope they do. :)

Most people who live in Kentucky don't think much when the Weather man says, snow. The ones who are scared of slick roads and who live down in the hollers usually hurry to the grocery store so they will have food for the few days their electric will be off.
In my county, we were in a magazine for the poorest county in the state of Kentucky, if the news says snow is coming, you will not be able to go to the store. I get that people need food and they won't be able to get out but why do these people have to act like the world just ended and this store is the only one in the entire world where you can get your canned beans.
I have a routine. I drive to my town once a week, on Tuesday, and pay bills, get groceries or visit the library. I don't make any other trips. I make sure I have enough food to last in case something happens and I need it. Tuesday when I went, I was pushed from the bread isle as if I was stealing it from a customer. I looked at this woman, who looked as if food should be the last thing from her mind. Her mother who was giving me the stink eye because I was actually shopping and not throwing everything in my cart that was't attached to the store itself. Then I looked at her kids. Five of them that ranged from a year old up to seven. I guess. They were dirty as heck and I frowned wondering why half of them wasn't in school, mine were in school. Then I just walked off because our county is 35% below poverty level. That's a lot of people on welfare. These people who get food-stamps and other benefits from the government, why are they the ones who act this way? They get free stuff and they come running in as if they deserve it more than someone who actually pays for it. What makes me mad or frustrated is that most of these people are in better health than some and could work.
Any way, the moral of the snow day, it brings out the crazies.
I hope no one takes offense to anything I have written. I am only venting.

For my second book I have worked hard trying to find reviewers interested in reading book 1 and 2. I gave out books and epubs just so I could get a review and others would see what the books were about from another persons point of view.
When I contacted the blogs and individuals, I asked that they read the books and place their review within a reasonable time. I felt as if four weeks - per book - was sufficient. Most people, who like to read, can read one book in two days. I get they have others to review as well, but why agree to do something if you know you can't?
I have agreed to review swaps. For some odd reason, I am the one who places the review first and I am still waiting on those people to add their review for my book.
It is so frustrating knowing who to trust with their word. I guess I am old fashioned because I believe your word is everything. If you say you are going to do something then do it.
Another thing about reviews, how bluntly honest should you even be? I have read a few books where I spot mistakes and I am not an editor. Should you point out everything or should you look at the story in a different way? Look at the plot, the descriptions, the characters.
I read one book that I was so surprised at the mistakes. This book is a best seller and has over fifty positive reviews. I reviewed it and I gave it a good review because of the details in the story. Is it wrong to do that? Should I tell them they need an editor to look over their story?
I don't know. Sometimes I feel as if I am struggling to stay above water. With husband, kids, and other problems that loom to every person who has only one income, I am beginning to think I picked a bad time to follow my dream of writing.
If the reviewers I contacted will not post a review and share their thoughts with their readers, I don't know if my husband will allow the series to continue.

I have found the holidays are not what I expected them to be.
It is hot for one thing. I live in Kentucky. It doesn't always snow on Christmas but it is usually cold and since I put Christmas lights up outside in a short-sleeved shirt it is kind of ridiculous. But I am glad that the kids can go outside and run around.
I've been so focused on trying to promote my book that I haven't finished picking up presents for the family. If I had a credit card, I would buy everything online so I don't have to go to the store. It would just be easier...
I've also been a little discouraged. I thought my family would be more supportive of the new book. But it seems as if they don't even acknowledge it's been published...(Sigh).
I know everyone has other things on their mind but couldn't they comment on the cover or the title. They don't have to read it -yet- but I do want some reviews from them by the end of January.
Am I being selfish for wanting them to focus on me for a few seconds?
I guess I need to forget about the book until after the holidays and then focus on it full-force, until the next book is ready to be released. I do know one thing for certain, I will make sure the next book comes out in the spring, so I don't have to worry about other things, just the book.