Tonya Coffey's Blog - Posts Tagged "mother"
Heartache of Life
When I was younger, I would argue with people over my family. I would tell them I had a family who would stand together and it didn't matter what would happen, we were one. The older I get the more I realize people change. We may still talk and spend the holidays together but we have out own lives and our own responsibilities.
My older sister hasn't had an easy life. She has struggled with who she is and what she wants out of it but the one thing she stands up for is her kids. She has three. They are all older and the youngest is why I ask my self about family.
When my sister divorced her husband, the youngest daughters dad, my niece was fifteen. She went a little wild and went against both her mom and dad but she ended up staying mostly with my mom.
Long story short, she got pregnant. My mom helped her through high school and baby sat while she worked. My parents aren't young but they love my niece and her son.
When my niece met a new boy, she decided my parents weren't good enough for her or her son so she left and refused to talk to anyone in the family or let anyone see the boy. This of course broke my parents heart and my sister still cries over it.
The heartache of the story is, my sister found out recently she has breast cancer. After she found out, she begged her daughter to see her grandson but she won't even answer the phone for her.
I don't understand how she-the daughter-can be so cruel to her mother. Her life wasn't perfect but my sister and my parents done everything they could to make her happy and she still doesn't see they were helping her.
It's been a year since then and my sister is going through chemo. She struggles with the loss of her hair. I know that is petty to most people but to her it was everything next to her kids. And it was all she had since the kids are all gone with lives of their own. And my niece, she has another child. A girl. My sisters only two grand-kids and she isn't allowed to see them.
It breaks my heart that a daughter can be so cruel to her mother when there is daughters out there who would give anything to have a mother like her.
My older sister hasn't had an easy life. She has struggled with who she is and what she wants out of it but the one thing she stands up for is her kids. She has three. They are all older and the youngest is why I ask my self about family.
When my sister divorced her husband, the youngest daughters dad, my niece was fifteen. She went a little wild and went against both her mom and dad but she ended up staying mostly with my mom.
Long story short, she got pregnant. My mom helped her through high school and baby sat while she worked. My parents aren't young but they love my niece and her son.
When my niece met a new boy, she decided my parents weren't good enough for her or her son so she left and refused to talk to anyone in the family or let anyone see the boy. This of course broke my parents heart and my sister still cries over it.
The heartache of the story is, my sister found out recently she has breast cancer. After she found out, she begged her daughter to see her grandson but she won't even answer the phone for her.
I don't understand how she-the daughter-can be so cruel to her mother. Her life wasn't perfect but my sister and my parents done everything they could to make her happy and she still doesn't see they were helping her.
It's been a year since then and my sister is going through chemo. She struggles with the loss of her hair. I know that is petty to most people but to her it was everything next to her kids. And it was all she had since the kids are all gone with lives of their own. And my niece, she has another child. A girl. My sisters only two grand-kids and she isn't allowed to see them.
It breaks my heart that a daughter can be so cruel to her mother when there is daughters out there who would give anything to have a mother like her.
A Mother's Ramblings
I find myself wondering if I'm the only mother in the world to look at their children and wish I could put them in a bubble and not let them go out into the world and experience it for themselves. Of course I know I'm not the only one. I think it's a mother's instinct to protect their children at all costs but I come to a realization this weekend that my boys were going to do what they wanted with their life and it didn't matter what I said.
I always encouraged them to be what made them happy. That a job was a job but if you loved what you did it could be a great life. We come from a small town and most of the people around here are teachers or factory workers. I'm not saying factory work is bad, my husband works at a factory. I just don't want them to work and work and have nothing to show for it.
When my oldest son was young he had this idea that he was going to be a doctor. I was thrilled. Well for years, twelve of them, he has focused on it. But this year he had decided that he wants to join the Marines. I felt as if my heart fell to the ground. I wasn't mad at him for wanting to do something he felt was right. I was upset because I know what happens to soldiers. So I ask myself for days, can I handle both of my sons going into combat? I don't know. All I do is think the worst. Look what happened to other families.
My youngest son, he has said since he was four he would be a soldier. I keep telling myself it's a faze but if he big brother joins, there's no doubt he will too.
I guess I'm being selfish because they are my children. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has sit and pondered on what would happen or have faith that nothing will happen at all. I believe that's all I can do. I will trust that God knows what's best.
And for the ones whose mouths are hanging open at my ramblings, I believe what our soldiers do is wonderful and I thank each of them for it. My dad was in the military, my uncles, cousins,niece, nephew and my father-in-law.
If my children do decide a career in the military is what they want, I will stand beside of them with pride and honor because that's what a mother does. They support their children even if it makes them cry.
I always encouraged them to be what made them happy. That a job was a job but if you loved what you did it could be a great life. We come from a small town and most of the people around here are teachers or factory workers. I'm not saying factory work is bad, my husband works at a factory. I just don't want them to work and work and have nothing to show for it.
When my oldest son was young he had this idea that he was going to be a doctor. I was thrilled. Well for years, twelve of them, he has focused on it. But this year he had decided that he wants to join the Marines. I felt as if my heart fell to the ground. I wasn't mad at him for wanting to do something he felt was right. I was upset because I know what happens to soldiers. So I ask myself for days, can I handle both of my sons going into combat? I don't know. All I do is think the worst. Look what happened to other families.
My youngest son, he has said since he was four he would be a soldier. I keep telling myself it's a faze but if he big brother joins, there's no doubt he will too.
I guess I'm being selfish because they are my children. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has sit and pondered on what would happen or have faith that nothing will happen at all. I believe that's all I can do. I will trust that God knows what's best.
And for the ones whose mouths are hanging open at my ramblings, I believe what our soldiers do is wonderful and I thank each of them for it. My dad was in the military, my uncles, cousins,niece, nephew and my father-in-law.
If my children do decide a career in the military is what they want, I will stand beside of them with pride and honor because that's what a mother does. They support their children even if it makes them cry.
