Recently I’ve noticed that the pendulum of life advice seems to be on the move. After years of exhorting us to dream big and go hard, psychologists and stress-perts alike are advocating a shift back to a simpler, calmer, more contemplative approach to life.

For years we were told that the only life worth living was the one that led us outside our comfort zone. That contentedness was just another word for settling and settling, was just another word for fear.

We were told to set Big Hairy Goals in order to wring the most out of life. To make every day an adventure and never let an opportunity to ‘do something that scares you’ pass you by. This, living out loud, so the argument went, was the best and only way to have a life full of passion, meaning and fulfilment. One in which you were uncomfortable most of the time but happy nonetheless.

Or were we?

In the past few weeks though, I’ve noticed a shift – adventure is out and contentedness is in! Calm is the new super power and groups of people are coming together to form simplicity circles during which they share ideas on how to live both with, and for, less.

Relationships are having a resurgence with depth, connection and kindredness of spirit taking priority over activity based friendships or, networking with those who are useful to advancing your career.

So why this shift? Well for many it seems to be in recognition to the fact that no matter how positively you view your full-on life, continually wringing the most out of life often comes at a personal cost – wringing the life force out of yourself. Unintendedly we end up a pale, burnt out shadow of our former selves and yet, somehow, still lacking that elusive happiness we were seeking out there in the world.

And so the advice is changing, softening and full of stories that show the ways we can take it down a notch on the effort front and search closer to home to find contentment in the everyday. Very simply put, it comes down to this – if you want to be happy in your life, BE happy in your life! Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing and whoever you happen to be.

The rationale is simple. The idea of constantly chasing a better life ‘out there’ is leading many people to follow, not a dream, but a mirage. A fantasy about how much more interesting, fulfilling and worthwhile their lives – and they themselves – would be if they were just doing something else.

Therapists and life coaches repeatedly report that they are working more and more with people who went hard and came home, only to find that nothing had really changed. Except that they were now even more disenchanted, having tried so hard to live a life less ordinary, only to find that what had driven them to push themselves so much in the first place, was still the predominant voice in their heads.

It’s hard to say whether the pendulum will swing again but this shift does feel different in sentiment to the ones that have come before. It’s simplifying for the benefit of living simply – having little, wanting little, staying where you are and liking it – rather than as a means to achieving another goal.

The happy medium of lore?

I like this new focus, especially the advice to do all those things you imagine yourself doing in your more adventurous life, in the one you have now. Striking up conversations with interesting strangers, pursuing a hobby without trying to make it into a career, reading a book in a neighbourhood café or, simply enjoying a glass of red in your own garden at the end of the day.

Life doesn’t have to be lived on an adrenalin high to be worthwhile and, you’re not ‘settling for less’ because you choose quiet contentment over the highs and lows of constantly living on the edge. Purpose, passion & planning can be dialled down and lived out locally in simpler, more sustainable and deeply connected ways.

It seems that, for the time being anyway, the pendulum of life advice has swung back to rest on that happy medium between acceptance and action. A place where you are content with who and where you are in life AND inspired to create special little moments to enjoy each and every day.

That works for me