I lost count on how many men reacted astoundedly when they found out that I, a 31 year old woman, am a virgin.

They made me feel that I have an untreatable disease, like it’s worse than having a stage four cancer.

I don’t get it. I mean, I know we are living in the 21st Century and women are more open and liberated than the women who grew up back in the day, but it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with women like me who, in our own way, value sex. You can call it hypocrisy (oh I know you would!), but sex isn’t just sex for me. It’s a bond you create with another person, someone dear to your heart who will take care not only of your body but also your heart. It’s the intimacy of being skin to skin with somebody without penetration (if you know what I mean). It’s exploring each others physicality and stimulating each others’ cerebral matter more rather than his d*ck and her t*ts.

Seriously speaking, there’s no wrong or right here. What I’m saying is that we all have choices in life, and being a virgin is one of the choices I made so you, effin men who haven’t explored my being but made me feel like a trash because I’m missing on a lot of things like sucking your hairy b*lls, don’t have the right to make me feel that I’m incomplete because I haven’t been laid.

I never imagined sharing my body with a couple of men whom I’m never gonna spend my life with. I know life isn’t a fairy tale and I’m not Cinderella who will leave her glass shoes and find her prince and will live happily ever after. I want to give myself to that special man with whom I will start a family. I want him to savor the unexplored paradise of my pleasurable walls between my thighs; to become one body and soul with that person would be heavenly.

But life has never been good to me when it comes to relationships. I’ve dated a few and most of them either cheated on me and/or ghosted me for unknown and unexplainable reasons, and I bet at the back of their minds was the thought “I can’t f*ck her so why date her still?”. I remember a couple of guys I met online told me that they can’t date me if they can’t try me yet. The worst phrase I ever heard from a guy was “I won’t buy a car I can’t even test drive”. Yeah, dude. I’m not a Ferrari or Lamborghini. I don’t have a steering wheel or a gear. I’m a human being for goodness sake!

Yes, my genitalia is not some Pandora special edition with diamonds around it. It’s the same with all the women out there. It has cheeks, a sensitive button, hair and juices, but that doesn’t mean it’s accessible to anyone who wants it.