I did something I have never done in my writing career this past week, I took an entire week off from writing. This was not intentionally done but my life is still going through major changes and there just didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day for me to get my writing done. As you all know my mom moved out to Colorado about a month ago. She and I have been sharing the living room during this time. We have reached a point where things need to change. We cannot continue to live as we are. She just started her new job and it made us realize that it was time to make another change. This past week we rented an apartment that will be ready in October to move into. We spent the week figuring out what our next step was, could we qualify, and then making the decision if we move forward.

I also went back to my day job or a version of my day job. My school district started a jumpstart program for all the special needs kids to get them back into the swing of going to school and being around other kids. It was a two hour program and I am grateful I took part in it because truthfully I needed it just as much as they did. I have not been doing any in person learning for five months. Everything has been online, which has meant I didn’t have to get up as early as I normally would, I could go walk every morning and I could set a different schedule for myself and my kids. Adjusting to my old schedule has taken a toll on me but I am finally starting to feel good about it.

To top off this big move we have made for our future and my kids’ future, I have been dealing with matters of the heart. Whether I like to admit it or not I fell for a man that unfortunately did not have the courage to move forward with me. There have been a lot of questions about this particular situation and where it would go for the past few months. I am not necessarily a girl that is sunshine and roses nor do I always have a lot of faith in love but this time was different for me. This was someone who truly saw the real me and liked it. The downside is that love did not win this particular battle. It hurts more than I care to admit because this person was special to me. On the upside, I found the answers I have been looking for for the past few months. It has made it easier to move forward with what is next for me.

Taking the week off freaked me out a bit. I have been struggling with this book to begin with and not achieving anything was hard for me to swallow. What I didn’t realize is that I needed to take the week. It has given me time to think about what I am doing with this book. I needed the time to process what was next. I needed the time to adjust to a new way of living. We, as humans, adapt all the time to change but sometimes it takes a moment. It is not something that happens over night. I needed to adjust to my old schedule once more, the fact that my life seems to be changing indefinitely (that’s how it feels anyways), and to finally getting the answers I have been waiting for. All of this has affected my writing over the past several weeks. Today as I sat drafting for the first time in seven days I felt more like I used to feel as I worked. I found it easier to find the words I was looking for. I only did a few pages but a few pages are still greater than zero. The week I took allowed me to get my head wrapped around what I needed to do next. Sometimes we need to take time to get perspective. Many times we feel the need to just keep pushing. Keep going and don’t stop. It is how I usually do things. What I really needed was time off. I needed the time to process all the worry, sadness, and fear I have been feeling because at the end of the day it was all eating away at me. I still have worries and fears but I am handling them better.

When life becomes more than you feel you can handle, take time to check on yourself. Make the effort to provide yourself with self care. I am still learning that self care is a necessity in life. It is how we keep going and feel good about ourselves. Make sure you are doing for you just as you are for others. Until next time!