Let’s talk a little bit more about writing. As you all know I have been working on book six for several months now. I have been struggling with this book and I don’t know why, or at least didn’t until yesterday.

I was talking with a friend about my books. He has never read them and we were talking about the difference in our arts. He plays guitar and is in a band. For him all of his art is performing in front of a crowd of people. For me most of the time, I’m sitting behind my computer and creating. I don’t generally have a live audience unless I am doing a live read on Facebook. We were talking about this and other parts writing as a whole. I pointed out that I am almost done with Savannah and Santiago’s books. I have two books to write and their story is done. When I said this a sadness washed over me. Now originally, I thought the sadness had to do with how much I have struggled writing book six, it has been like pulling teeth to get this book finished. Savannah has not been easy to work with. She has almost been stubborn to the point that I want to throw my computer because she doesn’t want to work. I have also been going through a few things, which have clouded my thought process. Covid-19 has not been helpful because I am trying to do my job and teach my kids. Yesterday during this conversation with my friend it hit me what was really wrong. Yes, the writing has been bad in many ways and I have felt lost but it had nothing to do with life or Covid-19. It all has to do with the fact that I am realizing Savannah and I are almost done. I have learned so much from Savannah. In many ways, Savannah saved my life by waking me up from the dread I was living in. She and I have grown together in many ways. Knowing I am almost done with her books feels like my friend is leaving me. What am I supposed to do without my daily dose of Savannah? What am I to do with me as a writer? I am in mourning, I realized. I am mourning Savannah and all of her people. It is a painful and scary thought that I am done. I have plans of a few books for other characters where Savannah and Santiago will be present but for the most part we will see very little of them. I also have another series planned. The series is set in the Hellborn World but in different cities. Savannah and Santiago will never be seen in that series. This is it for them and I am heartbroken in many ways.

I guess the question is what do I do? How do I soften the sadness I feel at finishing this series? I’m not sure I know how. I have been thinking about this for the last twenty-four hours and I have not found the answer. Part of me wishes I had switched to the other series. I could have gone and spent some time working with my demons and given Savannah a break. As I type, I am realizing I should have done just that. Savannah and I have been working non-stop for two years. Taking a break would have given us the break we both needed and given me time to mourn instead of doing so while I was writing the book. It would also ensure I had a starting point for the other series. I could have eased into the demon books.

The other step I could have taken was accepting how I was feeling. There is a sense of accomplishment with the completion of each book. There is an even bigger accomplishment at the fact I have finished five books. With that accomplishment comes the sadness that I am almost done with The Hellborn Series. If I had taken the time to look at how I was actually feeling about this I would have dealt with my emotions better. I would have allowed myself to mourn my loss a little more. I guess the question is what do I do now?

The answer is simple yet difficult. I need to deal with my sense of loss and finish book six. The rest of this book is not going to be easy to finish but it’s time to do it, so I can start moving on. I need to accept that Savannah isn’t really leaving me; she is just taking a break. There may be more books down the road or for all I know one of my demons may step into Savannah’s world. I don’t foresee that happening but I also have no clue where the demons will take me. Once I finish book six, I plan to take a break and start working on my other series. Taking a few months off from Savannah and Santiago will help me deal with what I am feeling, which will help finish the series. I also think Savannah is feeling some of the same emotions I am feeling. Maybe she needs the break from me just as much. Once she and I take a small break, I believe we will find the success we have always known. For now that is all the wisdom I have to offer. Until next time!