I was a child of the ’80s; every teenage girl to the older women I knew wore heels on a daily basis. There were brightly colored pumps everywhere little girls went during these years. I remember sitting in my grandmother’s cedar-lined closet, trying on all her work shoes. My grandmother was one of the discount store ladies back when women wore garters and pantyhose every day. This woman was under five feet tall, so her feet were small, and I quickly grew into wearing those gorgeous shoes. The issue became apparent when I could not walk in anything past two inches in height. As a child, I did not possess a lot of balance, and through the years, that has been a continual struggle. Now that I am older, there are exercises in my weekly workouts to increase my balance. It was common during my childhood for girls to pull out heels to glide around on their first attempt. To this day, I still appear like a newborn foul in anything that resembles sexy. 

The ’80s were filled with teenage magazines, tv shows, and all those commercials telling us girls what would make us sexy women. We all wanted to be Christiana Brinkley, the type of woman who forced their sensuality onto the world. There were several years of me trying to work into a higher heel. I can now wear most four-inch heels without stumbling if I move slowly with a lot of attention.  I still have those strappies as a reminder of the work it took to achieve that goal. There were three years that I wore those heels in every type of weather and to all engagements. 

When I started in adult entertainment, it shocked me that men wanted all kinds of outfits. There was a massive following in the early years for average girls wearing average outfits; what society and women had taught turned out unrealistic. There were men in the first few years who asked about my favorite flats and flip-flops. 

There is freedom in wearing what we enjoy, the types of outfits that have us standing a little taller while flirting. Through the years, age has taught sexy is never about accessories. The further I drift from conventional pretty to my version, the sexier I feel and act. Confidence in myself is my most important asset, not the shoes on my feet. My personal favorite is a nice pair of riding boots; from the smell of the leather to the click of heels, they make me feel sexy. If you can not wear heels, there are other women out there like yourself. Find a partner that is into the same things you are by being honest about your choices. Everyone has challenging activities; there is no reason to put oneself in danger. The most important advice is to remember that mind control is wallet control; buy what you will wear. There are many pairs of gorgeous shoes in my closet that were worn only once because the result was catastrophic or close to disaster.