If you told someone during the holiday season that you just read a blog titled, "Pause," they may think it had something to do with reindeer. But, just as important as Rudolf's red nose, a "pause" before we act can be just as valuable.

Our gut reactions are genuine. They should always be validated. If you feel hurt by what someone said, or joyous after an achievement, it's important to recognize how things affect you. Unfortunately, acting on an impulse can cause problems. An obvious reason it can be problematic is because it doesn't give us time to think. This is why a "pause" can be beneficial.

Take for example, a holiday dinner. You're with your family and someone says something that upsets you. What if, instead of responding, you paused? With a couple seconds of thought there are several techniques you could try to avoid a conflict. For example, you could take a deep breath and give your response in a calm, gentle tone as opposed to the agitated voice we often use when something bothers us. In that same pause, one could also cognitively reframe a hurtful comment, choose to believe the person cares, or acknowledge the person is taking interest in you. A pause can help stop you from saying something you might regret later. It gives you the opportunity to stay in control and proceed with a reply that you can feel good about.

Pauses are great for de-escalating a confrontation. They're also great for emphasizing something wonderful. Taking a moment shows the other person you are not only listening, but you're also thinking about what they said. This is very validating.

So, this holiday season, take a moment. Find ways to keep conversations pleasant, pause to de-escalate the bad, and take time to acknowledge the good.

I wish you all a very happy and healthy holiday season!