“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage pleasantly, smilingly, and non-apologetically – to say no to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger yes burning inside.”

STEPHEN COVEY

I used to be a people-pleaser.

This was a behaviour that was hurting the success of my clients, the success of my team, and ultimately the success of my coaching business.

I was holding everyone back, including myself.

I needed to change the type of relationship I had with my clients.

They were in control. They were calling the shots.

The truth is, even though they never explicitly said it, my clients knew that they weren’t getting what they needed. They didn’t want a passive order taker, they wanted to be challenged.

I know most coaches struggle with this. For me, this is what it looked like:

i) I said yes to requests I knew we couldn’t do, or couldn’t do well

ii) I said yes to projects that I knew would fail (or I made myself sick trying to make them work!)

iii) I let clients make mistakes and bad decisions that would hurt them in the short and long term

iv) I said yes to bad-fit clients and their bad behaviour

v) I felt like I couldn’t say no to my clients


We have to ask ourselves: What negative impact is this having on our people, our client results, the growth of our coaching business?

It’s time to step up and challenge our clients.

Make it clear that we’re willing to walk away if we don’t think true success is possible.

Now, years later, I’ve turned my past weakness into a strength that helps my clients:

i) I ask the difficult questions others struggle with

ii) I call out the mistakes they are making

iii) I’m not afraid to say no

The result of this fundamental shift?

Our clients step up and prove to us what they are capable of.

They become better, more successful clients.

We’re doing better work, and I’m a better coach with a more successful coaching business.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s for the best. For everyone involved.

This is what it means to Become an Authoritative Coach.

To leave our people-pleasing in the past, and become the coach our clients need us to be.

Let’s get to work.

Get the book: Become an Authoritative Coach: Stop people pleasing, challenge your clients, be indispensable