Dear colleagues,

The start of a new year. A time for resolutions. Including several dictated to us from on high. It won’t have escaped your notice that the recent Spending Review has left Q Branch leaner, greener, and, decidedly, meaner. It has further been suggested that we “foster a culture where EQ – Emotional Quotient – and not merely IQ – is employed as a metric of success.” I recently discussed this with M.

M’s contention is that agents trained to eliminate – with extreme prejudice – our enemies don’t need to be mollycoddled. His exact words were “Q, I don’t expect our Double Os to sit around holding hands singing “Kumbaya”, before putting a bullet through the likes of Blofeld.”

Nevertheless, this is the ideal moment to re-evaluate our role as the research and development division of the British Secret Service. The fact is that we have long been invaluable to our nation’s intelligence apparatus. On a recent trip to the archives, the idea of a Q Branch museum was mooted. Splendid notion. 

Looking back, I am astounded by the inventiveness of our predecessors. 

Take, for instance, the ‘pigeon camera’, a device designed to be strapped to Lord Nelson’s least favourite bird. In between dodging bombs and bullets, these adventurous pigeon pilots took thousands of critical reconnaissance photos during WW1. So effective were they that several went on to the status of war hero. I note here one such medallist: Cher Ami – “dear friend” to the linguistically challenged – awarded the Croix de Guerre by the French government. His stuffed remains may now be found in the Smithsonian Institute. 

From the sublime to the ridiculous. 

Back in the 1970s, our old friends across the pond, the CIA, developed what would become known as the T1151 “Dog Doo” transmitter. Deployed during the Vietnam War, this homing beacon was used to track supply movements along the Ho Chi Minh trail. The beacon was camouflaged to resemble a medium-sized faecal dropping. How’s that for lateral thinking?

This memo constitutes the first of a monthly series. My own attempt to get a little more “touchy-feely”, in line with HQ’s diktat. To this end, I shall set a puzzle in each memo, a means of promoting a little Q Branch esprit de corps. See postscript below for this month’s brain teaser. 

Finally, I need not remind everyone that our mission here at Q Branch remains to develop the tech that keeps our field agents safe and operational. As ever, we work behind the scenes. Not for us the power and the glory. Nevertheless, we may take great pride in what we do. So, whatever your new year’s resolution, be it to learn to play “Ode to Joy” on the kazoo or to run the London Marathon in a Godzilla suit, I wish more power to your elbow, and a productive new year. 

Sincerely,

Major Boothroyd

Head of Q Branch

P.S. Here is your first puzzle. One “winner” shall be picked at random from all correct entries and will be mentioned in my following memo. Perhaps MI6 Archives might even stretch to rustling up a book to send you?* Pot luck, I’m afraid! Fill in this form to enter . . . This month’s puzzle is as follows: To whom am I referring below?

A headless corpse, this spy leaves behind.

And disputed legacy, now out of mind.

Enchantress once of men of state.

A byword now for quisling’s fate.

P.P.S. In light of the recent mishap with 007’s Bentley, no further vehicles are to be authorised to Double O agents without my express approval.

*UK entrants only, I’m afraid!

NOTE FROM VASEEM KHAN

This ‘memorandum’ is one of a series of 12 that we will be publishing, celebrating the launch of QUANTUM OF MENACE, the first mystery featuring Major Boothroyd, Head of Q Branch (a.k.a Q) from the James Bond universe. Pre-orders are very important to a new series, so we would be immensely grateful if you considered pre-ordering the novel. Buy from bookshops big and small and online.  Click here for some options.

To keep updated on the progress of Quantum of Menace, and to receive competitions and giveaways with prizes from the Bond-verse,  simply register for my newsletter here . 

You can also receive these updates by registering for the  Ian Fleming newsletter by clicking here .