Who are the real people behind the characters in my stories? Names are changed, physical attributes are altered and often, for the sake of expediency and the strength of the story arc, several people come together to form a single character. Still, when I write about those who are close to me — parents, grandparents, dear friends — I am torn. These are beautiful human beings, thoughtful, passionate, resourceful, and their lives inspire my stories. But they are not perfect. How much should I reveal?

Anne Bernays, a well-known novelist, editor, and teacher writes: “If you’re going to write fiction that’s even vaguely autobiographical — and which of us hasn’t? — in trying to decide what to put in and what to leave out, don’t consider what your friends, neighbors and especially your immediate family are going to think and/or say, assuming, that is, that they ever read what you write.” In other words, throw them onto the pyre of your work. For you to be successful, for your novel to be successful, don’t worry about them. This is easier said than done. Anne Bernays adds: “You don’t want to hurt people deliberately; if you’ve got the proper skills, you can disguise most people, so they won’t recognize themselves.”

Do I have the proper skills? Will I feel a sense of guilt?

My parents are no longer alive, so I cannot hurt them. But by harming their memory, I harm myself. They made me who I am.

When my characters reflect my parents’ or my friends’ very familiar shortcomings, I employ a trick. I invent conflicts and relationships that I cannot know from direct experience, episodes from a war that took place before I was born, arguments I never witnessed, or love scenes I can only imagine. This way, if I ever feel guilty about using them as my source of inspiration, I remind myself that turning truth to fiction is my craft.

My wife, who reads everything I write, says my characters come alive when I care about the people who inspired them. I struggle when it gets deeply personal, I tell her, and she says, just let it flow from the heart.