You never know what’s inside!

This week results from my Ancestry DNA test came in. The cousins were happy. The parents? Not so much. Turns out there were a few Easter eggs in the DNA after all. Nothing as exotic as I’d hoped, but Da is not as Welsh as he believed. And my mother is not as German, nor as Irish, as she thought. My Da’s response was to whip out his credit card and purchase a test for himself because, “Obviously the lab was mistaken.” My mother’s response was an actual, audible sigh of relief. I understood both reactions.

For my Da, being Welsh is his identity, and for all the good and bad of Welsh-ness, he’s proud of that identity. His level of Welsh-ness is still a 10 in my mind, it hasn’t changed. He’s still a 100% product of Wales and the Welsh culture. Alright, so he may have 9% English blood, or a touch of Scottish. And some of that Welsh blood may be from North Wales not South Wales (which he minds, but I don’t). But it doesn’t change who he is or how he identifies or he moves through the world.

For my mother, her ancestry always came with baggage. To know that she may actually be mostly English, or at least percentage wise more English than either German or Irish, is a relief. She can now honestly reimagine herself as a person that doesn’t have to carry so many bags anymore. She doesn’t want to take a test to find out exact percentages. And I get that. Why pay money if Da is spending his and I have spent mine on the test. We can triangulate her heritage based on our test maths. Which leads me to believe (and yes, stereotype) that it’s actually my mother who holds the small fraction of Scottish genes I inherited.

We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.

Another fun fact was the number of “1st cousins once removed” or half-cousins I have. The Easter egg there is really the half-cousins. It implies that my grandparents siblings may have had more than one marriage, which isn’t true, in the sense that we only know of one marriage partner for each. So, Da’s family Bible may need some edits due to, um, dangerous liasons? I of course will not pursue this line of enquiry, simply because these aren’t my grandparents and it’s really up to my “1st cousins once removed” and half-cousins to turn over that rock, if they so choose. I never did ask my cousins why they wanted to me to do the Ancestry test. I don’t think I will now. But I’m happy to be a leaf on their tree.

And speaking of tests with interesting results, all quite at work this week of that front. We continue to deal with what we laughingly call PTM (Presidential Tariff Mania – not a DSM-5 listed condition). But it’s become a sort of blitz mentality. You (the US) are attacking us, but we will outlast you with calm dignity and lots of ridicule. Friday was super quite. Many people were off. It being both the start of Passover week and Easter week, I imagine places to go and people to see. Which, depending on how you’re feeling about the world and who is at your table, may lead to awkward conversations over the matzah or lamb. To that, I would recommend you read/listen to a few books that are not politically related and try engaging over some less fraught topics.

I recommend Range: Why generalists triumph in a specialized world, by David Epstein from 2019. I’ve found it a good conversation starter. Most people go through multiple jobs in a lifetime. They change careers and think they’re behind, never realising they take that knowledge and skill with them, and that’s a plus not a minus. Starting early with a narrow focus, putting in your 10K hours? That may not be the way to go for you or even most people on earth. I was giving blood at a drive last Sunday and asked my phlebotomist if this was her career or a step on her journey. I never know what people will say, but I ask. She said her plan was to be a Physican’s Assistant, but her school councilor gave her bad advice. So she ended taking a course over rather than toughing it out and getting a grade. Even though she passed the repeat course with flying colours, when she applied to PA programs, every one of them rejected her. She could never become a PA without that program certification.

She said at that point, her dad (a fightfighter) said, “Apply to be a firefighter.” She decided, “Why not?” Turns out she loves firefighting. And she’s happy that’s the direction her life is going in. Was her previous training a waste? I don’t think so. I think she’ll bring an added level of medical ability to her firefighting that may end up saving the lives of fire victims and her coworkers. So is she getting a late start on her career? Or is her situation a long-term career advantage? David Epstein makes the case that in our increasingly AI-driven world, the answer is the latter. But feel free to discuss! And if you don’t have time to read the book (Seder dinner countdowns have begun.) Listen to the author discuss for an hour on your drive to dinner via Forrest Hanson’s Being Well Podcast.

If your family is a little more on the religious side, you can open with this, When the Angel of Death passes by the houses of people (not just Hebrew slaves, but anyone that heeds God’s/Moses’s warning) who have painted their door lintel and posts with lamb’s blood, why is the AOD passing by exactly? It’s a really interesting question. If you’ve ever looked at door lintels and doorposts, or painted them, you know they have a certain shape. If you know the Hebrew alphabet, you know the letter formed in painting is a Chet, which is the first letter of the word Chai (חי because it’s read right to left). Which means life, or living, or to live. It’s a common symbol you might see your Jewish friend wearing.

So, is the Angel of Death passing by because of a blood aversion? Because AOD is travelling through the town with God (sort of implied by the verses) and God is saying, “Nope not that one.” Or because the AOD is seeing the house is marked with the word “live,” in the very essence of the lifeforce (blood), and other houses are not? The question you probably don’t want to get into at table is if God and AOD are the same thing. By saying God passes over a house, it’s implied God is doing the killing. But that could be a poor translation of the word, Pesach. I’d personally go with the translation “protects”. But if you like word play, you could maybe have some fun with that topic.

If you’re on the Easter side of the blanket and need religious topic, I always like to whip out my Ásgarðr (Asgard) Theorem. When Jesus rises from the dead, he has fish fry with the disciples to prove he’s still fully human. And yet he ascends into heaven, where supposedly everyone is noncorporeal. So how does that work? If Jesus is seated at the right hand of God, what happens when he needs to get up and use the loo? Where is the heavenly loo? If he flushes were does it go? Granted, as you might suspect, our religious Easter discussions are little more catholic than Catholic. But these are things worth thinking about. If Jesus is human, he must miss the human things. Or he must have some special realm within heaven he lives in, with other living corporeal things like fruit trees, because he’s eating. It’s a puzzle.

If you’re looking for a little self-care after you’ve dined with family, and it hasn’t gone well or maybe it has, I recommend We’ll Prescribe You a Cat, by Syou Ishida, from 2024, and translated by E Madison Shimoda. It is a pure delight. It’s more like short stories. So just read the first story, Bee. You don’t have to like to cats to enjoy it, but if you like cats, you’ll laugh a lot. If you decide to listen to the book, Bee is less than 2 hours long. You’ll probably be surprised that the reader, is Japanese, speaking English. His interpretation gives an extra dimension to the characters and how the author would have us perceive them that an English or American narrator could never capture. He is amazing because – dare I say it? – he has range.

I find the cozy cat genre to Japan, what the cozy mystery genre is to England. It’s a little window into the Japanese soul, into Japanese life, hopes, dreams, and, of course, their comfort reads. I like these kinds of books as a good way to get to know other people in other countries as people. This is something I think that’s especially important now, (comfort reads, yes, but) expanding our knowledge of other people, their cultures, and what brings them comfort. Countries descend into madness when hatred of others becomes the drip, drip, drip, of your authority figures. Ultimately if you don’t cap that tap, that drip can become an ocean and lead to a tsunami of terrible things.

Cut through the waters. Make some room for the miraculous this week.

Empathy is not they enemy of peace, but its midwife. It’s why fascists, dictators, and warmongers hate it and work to crush empathy out of people that they plan to use a tools to carry out ever more vicious and obscenely inhuman acts. If you’re having difficulty with birthing some empathy for others, at your table or elsewhere, or even for yourself? Please, call the Midwife – available 24/7, to deliver peace in your heart, your home, and the whole wide world. And, Mind the Tap.