“In 2022, my just turned 15-year-old daughter met someone on an app who posed as a 16-year-old.” I read this on Facebook. This mom continued explaining her story which lasted over two years. Her daughter had an eight-month long “relationship” with this poser before breaking it off. From that point, he exploited, stalked, harassed, and bullied the daughter and family.

When the daughter told her mother about this “friend,” this mom went into “mom mode.” You know what I mean—some Mama Bear action, defending, plotting, advocating, and all-out persisting.

Mom spent over a year trying to protect her daughter from this relentless person. He “used at least four social media platforms and 130 social media display names to pose as a minor and interact with minors on social media.” [i] This man, who was actually 21, not 16, repeatedly contacted and threatened the daughter and her family, even after her mother had called the police and Attorney General and filed a restraining order against him.

A mom fights for her child to protect her from a predator. As parents, we are called to protect and advocate for our children. The Advocate Every Child Needs #hopefulmom #parenting
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Finally, Mom walked into the FBI office. She said, “I had in my hands probably 300 or more screenshots, and I begged them to help me. I was scared for my daughter’s life.”

Through their investigation, the FBI learned of other victims. He “used those accounts to persuade minor victims to engage in sexual conduct and to produce child sexual abuse material. [He] allegedly received that material, possessed it, and distributed some of that content to other minors, including classmates of one of his victims.”[ii]

Thankfully, because of Mom’s advocacy and persistence, a grand jury indicted this predator “with coercion and enticement of minors, production, distribution, and possession of child pornography [child sexual abuse material], and cyberstalking.”[iii] He awaits trial.

This mom’s story is maddening.

What struck me most about this post, though, was Mom’s closing words to us parents. “You are your child’s biggest advocate. If you know something is wrong don’t stop fighting for your child. I hit dead end after dead end after dead end. But my daughter can finally live her life free from this monster.”

Mom did not accuse her child. She didn’t scold her daughter for talking with a stranger online. She wasn’t angry because her daughter sent inappropriate photos. (I’m making an assumption here, but it stands to reason given the exploitation and ultimate charges.) She also didn’t blame her daughter for the stalker’s actions. Instead, she defended, protected, and advocated.

One of our highest priorities as parents is to protect and advocate.

Whether you believe “Delay is the Way,” or you grant your child access to online devices at an early age, it’s your job to understand the pros and cons of internet surfing and social media scrolling. Is this fair? No. But, it’s life. Therefore, we need to understand and explain the dangers to our children before allowing them access to the internet or installing apps on their devices.

Officer Gomez summed up Snapchat in the above flowchart. But let’s face facts, these are behaviors we see on all games and social media apps, including Instagram, TikTok, Discord, and Roblox.

Research each app and device, add filters to your Wi-Fi and devices, use parental controls, and talk, talk, talk with your children. Explain the dangers. If they aren’t old enough and mature enough to understand why they should walk away from an unhealthy situation, or they aren’t brave enough to say no to their peers, then say no for them.

Will your child succumb to peer pressure? Will they make poor choices? Will they fail to heed your advice? Probably. At least once.

But we are still their best hope. They are not the enemy. The enemy is the one luring our children into toxic behavior. The drug dealers. The pornography industry. The predator down the street. The social media app algorithms.

Rather than alienate your children, be available. To prevent. To protect. To stand firm in your decisions. And to advocate for them when they are in trouble. They need you. Our children are a work in progress (just like us). When they make unhealthy decisions, support them, encourage them, listen to them, and go to bat for them. Fight for them. Like the Mama Bear in our story above.

[i] https://www.justice.gov/usao-sc/pr/ohio-man-indicted-south-carolina-exploiting-and-stalking-minors-social-media

[ii] Ibid.

[iii] Ibid.

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