In the world of dating, I find it interesting how one person can be considered trash by someone, but that same person can be viewed as a treasure by someone else. Yes, I said person. In relationships especially, it all seems to come down to perception.

I mean, it's funny how even negative-based words can mean something completely different to one person than they can another. For example, the words clingy, possessive, jealous, and controlling might make many flee for the hills, but those words might not have the same meaning for different types of people. I was discussing this with a female friend today, so I decided to reiterate my stance on the matter.

Let's start with clingy. To some people, they might think a person is being clingy when, in effect, that might just mean that the person in question loves spending a lot of time with them a LOT more than they want to spend time with that person. To others...those who are REALLY into the other person, they won't see that as clingy but, rather, that the other person adores them so much that they have trouble being apart from them. So, some people's "clingy" is another person's "they must really love me.

Or, in the case of being possessive....to those who think others are too possessive, it could just mean that "that" person who feels that way may want to still be single and do things they're not supposed to when they're in a relationship. Whereas a person who WANTS to be wanted just by that one person, well, they will adore the fact that someone else doesn't want anyone to have them, which indicates, to them, that they are definitely loved.

As for jealousy, to a person who thinks someone is too jealous, it COULD mean that the reason they're jealous is because the other person is not drawing the normal boundary lines within their relationship. If their s.o. is constantly talking on the phone with other men who are SINGLE, flirting in front of them, etc., then heck YEAH they're going to be jealous because the other person isn't making them feel safe and desired. So it's not always that a person is being too jealous but, sometimes, it was the other person not making them feel like their relationship was safe.

Or, in the case of control. One person's control is another person's "guiding" or, quite simply, them just saying what it will take in order to make them feel comfortable and/or safe. Just because a person desires something to happen a certain way in a relationship doesn't mean they're controlling. They're just wanting to feel comfortable. So one person's "controlling" is another person's "they just want to feel comfortable, so I understand why they're being like that."

So, it's all a matter of perception. Therefore, if you have a problem in a relationship, before you jump to the worst possible conclusions about a person, try to understand where they're coming from. It doesn't necessarily mean they're in the wrong, it just might mean that they feel differently about something, and the reason for it might not be so bad after all.