★ Arts and Entertainment:

The Dragons of Screaming Cliff – A Review by Fergus Dudley

I’d like to say that making the treacherous climb from the base of the Shrieking Valley up to the peak of Screaming Cliff was worth every sore muscle, but it was not. To say that the Dragons of Screaming Cliff was the most disappointing performance of the year is putting it mildly.

From the first pitiful roar of this high-flying act to the last trickle of flame, the entire show was one gigantic yawn. The aerial acrobatics had all the grace of a Cyclops on ice and their supposed “free-wheeling stunts” had all the excitement of watching your great-aunt knit a cardigan sweater.

The dragons’ much-hyped “death-defying plumes of flame” was in reality a trickle of fire and a few puffs of smoke. The two lead dragons, Fangous and Scarella, made ample use of their impressive wing spans, but they failed to capture the attention of the youngest members of the audience, who spent the night running up and down the aisles. On the plus side, the entire troupe boasted dark green scales that fairly glistened in the moonlight, and fangs that could produce nightmares in even the bravest of knights. Unfortunately, sharp fangs and well-maintained scales could not save the yawn-fest that is The Dragons of Screaming Cliff.

◊ - One Star

Rebuttal: I have been a make-up artist for the Dragons of Screaming Cliff for the past six seasons. What your review failed to take into account is that the dragons perform seven days a week with two matinees on the weekend. Thus, it is no wonder that they are unable to produce the gigantic flames they are so famous for at the end of each and every performance. Furthermore, I used to work with a Cyclops who walked the high wire, a feat that requires both dexterity and grace.  Your remarks reflect an ignorance and bias that is unfortunately so common in the media today.  – Nixie Merewald

★ Sports Notes:

The Fringe Will Fly!

The National Association for Stock Carpet Racing (NASCARPET) presents the Soar Cup Series Final this weekend. 200 Death-Defying Laps in the speediest magic carpet race in Galdoren.  Who will take the checkered flag?

Scrypptors 86th National Spelling Bee

Young wizards, fairies, and apprentice alchemists from all over the country will gather in the nation’s capital tonight to compete wand-to-wand in a series of increasingly complex spells in their effort to become the 86th National Spelling Bee Champ.

★ In the next issue:

Tales from the Galdoren Single Scene —A Knight in Tarnished Armor

(For more on Galdoren, please go to our Visitor Center.)