How to Make “Fast Friends” and Accelerate Your Career
Ever heard the old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat?” Well, we’re of a differing opinion. As we see it, curiosity kills the competition.
It’s one of the most effective NICE skills you can have, for several reasons. Yes, being curious and asking questions can help you learn essential little details you might otherwise never find out, but perhaps more important, it’s one of the fastest ways to make a great first impression. Think about it. Who would you rather sit next to at a dinner party: the bore who drones on incessantly about himself, or the charmer who finds you utterly fascinating?
When starting a new job, being curious is a great way to appear immediately likeable. It shows that you’re humble, willing to learn, and motivated. It also makes others feel important by answering your questions, and helps foster friendship.
According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, there is a special technique that can actually quicken the bonds you form with your coworkers. Pioneered by psychologists at Stony Brook University, the technique known as “Fast Friends” uses a series of questions asked over the course of 45 minutes to help break down barriers and form meaningful connections. But, even during the short timeframe, the connection is formed gradually. This is key, as oversharing—or on the contrary, being overly inquisitive—gives most people pause.
Scientists ask participants to complete the Fast Friends exercise in just 45 minutes, but you can give it all the time you need. It may be helpful to think of it as a template you can use when making friends during your first few weeks at a new office.
Here’s how the technique works.
• The first questions are only slightly personal. For example, “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you, here at the office?”
• The second questions are little more personal. For example, “What do you value most in a working relationship?”
• The last step is to get personal. Try sharing a problem you’ve been facing at work and ask for your new friend’s advice on how he or she might handle it.
Demonstrating an interest in your new work friends and showing that you value their expertise and opinions is an ideal way to plant positive seeds. Before you know it, you’ll have made fast friends that will serve you well long after you’ve moved on to your next position.
It’s one of the most effective NICE skills you can have, for several reasons. Yes, being curious and asking questions can help you learn essential little details you might otherwise never find out, but perhaps more important, it’s one of the fastest ways to make a great first impression. Think about it. Who would you rather sit next to at a dinner party: the bore who drones on incessantly about himself, or the charmer who finds you utterly fascinating?
When starting a new job, being curious is a great way to appear immediately likeable. It shows that you’re humble, willing to learn, and motivated. It also makes others feel important by answering your questions, and helps foster friendship.
According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, there is a special technique that can actually quicken the bonds you form with your coworkers. Pioneered by psychologists at Stony Brook University, the technique known as “Fast Friends” uses a series of questions asked over the course of 45 minutes to help break down barriers and form meaningful connections. But, even during the short timeframe, the connection is formed gradually. This is key, as oversharing—or on the contrary, being overly inquisitive—gives most people pause.
Scientists ask participants to complete the Fast Friends exercise in just 45 minutes, but you can give it all the time you need. It may be helpful to think of it as a template you can use when making friends during your first few weeks at a new office.
Here’s how the technique works.
• The first questions are only slightly personal. For example, “What would constitute a “perfect” day for you, here at the office?”
• The second questions are little more personal. For example, “What do you value most in a working relationship?”
• The last step is to get personal. Try sharing a problem you’ve been facing at work and ask for your new friend’s advice on how he or she might handle it.
Demonstrating an interest in your new work friends and showing that you value their expertise and opinions is an ideal way to plant positive seeds. Before you know it, you’ll have made fast friends that will serve you well long after you’ve moved on to your next position.
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