The Bit Bill Bryson Missed
I find Bill Bryson’s books hugely enjoyable; both informative and entertaining. However much as I liked ‘Down Under’, his guide to Australia published in 2000, it does have a bit missing. Of course with such an immense country (I have a postcard showing how all of Europe fits comfortably inside Australia’s borders) he couldn’t be expected to go every where, but to miss out Perth seems unaccountable.
Or maybe not… Perth sits on the edge of Western Australia, quite isolated from other main centres of population. And more to the point what it has to offer principally is beaches – long, wide, empty beaches of soft, white sand. If you’re also a Bill Bryson fan, you’ll know that beaches are not really his thing, especially as on one long stretch dogs are permitted.
However for me the beaches of Perth made for a perfect holiday. I say ‘beaches’ because they have different names, but in fact it is really one six or seven mile long expanse of coastline. Nevertheless each section does have its own unique character in terms of surroundings and sea conditions. The northern-most beach that I visited was called Scarborough. It was also my first experience of swimming in Australia and felt somewhat daunting on that first day as the conditions were what are termed locally ‘dumping surf’. The waves smashed into me, bowling me off my feet and giving me an experience something akin to a rapid spin in a washing machine. By the evening I actually needed pain-killers to ease my aching joints! But please don’t be put off, as on other days I had some wonderful swims at this beach. The waves were still big, but didn’t smack in the same way – or else I had become better at leaping over and diving under them.
Scarborough beach, like all the Perth beaches, has free car parking – an unheard of luxury if you’re from the UK – from which a sort of mini- amphitheatre leads down to the sand. One day we saw a wedding taking place in this area, with the bride and groom on the sand and the guests seated on the curved bank of stone steps. Just across the road is a small shopping mall, where you can find take-away sandwiches, drinks and cakes, as well as a couple of cafes. I also discovered ‘The Phantom’ comics in a newsagent here, which was pleasing as they are not published in the UK and the only ones I can find on Amazon are back copies, rather than current issues.
Scarborough has lifeguards in attendance, although they seemed to have a more restful job than the ones you see on TV on ‘Bondi Rescue’! I found the waves fun – there’s no dilly-dallying on the edge of the water here; you’ve no choice but to plunge right in. And once past the breakers you can mostly float over them, with the added excitement of sometimes having waves coming in two directions at once as they rebound from the shelving beach. For those of us familiar with the gentle sloping beaches of the south coast of England or the Spanish Costas the Perth sea doesn’t seem especially child-friendly, as you are quickly out of your depth. But Australian kids appear more resilient; none of the ones I saw minded being splashed and many tinies were skidding along the sea margin on body boards, while some who only looked about eight or nine were body-boarding properly.
South from Scarborough is what we called ‘the dog beach’. This runs for a couple of miles, with car parks and access points every few hundred yards. This section is backed by sand dunes and for the less fit among us it was quite an effort toiling up the sandy slope, though definitely worth it when you reach the peak and see the blue, shimmering Indian Ocean waiting for you down the other side. You are asked to access this section of beach only through the appointed pathways, in order to protect the dunes – there is the added incentive of warnings of snakes! I have an absolute terror of snakes, but I’m pleased to say that I made it through my 3 week stay without seeing a single one. I seem to remember Bill Bryson dwelling on the dangers of wildlife in Australia at some length – he should have visited Perth; even the jellyfish are relatively benign. I was in the sea one day when I felt a slight stabbing in my side. I managed to ignore it, but later found quite a prominent rash. This was evidently what the locals call a ‘stinger’. It was quite itchy for several days, but easily soothed by antihistamine cream and certainly didn’t deter me from continuing to enjoy the water.
Anyway, the ‘dog beach’ was a wonderful place for dog owners to exercise their hounds and it was lovely to watch them running, playing and swimming so sociably together. Incidentally there was no dog poo visible anywhere and even plastic bags provided to make it easy for owners to clean up. We had some good swims from this beach. When my niece (a local) warned me not to swim out too far, I thought she was concerned about lack of lifeguards and perhaps currents, but she said actually it was sharks she had in mind. We frequently saw a helicopter patrolling the whole stretch of Perth coastline, apparently on shark watch – perhaps after all the local fauna isn’t entirely harmless!
One day we decided to go to City Beach, which is not particularly near the city but surrounded by parks and affluent-looking housing. On this particular day the waves were especially high and the lifeguards were earning their keep actively patrolling the beach, telling people only to go in if they could swim well. We enjoyed our swim and it was possible to float over even the biggest waves if you caught them before they broke. There were toilet facilities here but I don’t recall any shops – we had a picnic with us.
The next beach heading south was Cottesloe. Here the sea was at its gentlest, though never completely flat. The sand was especially fine powder too, whereas at Scarborough it was slightly grittier with crushed shells in its make-up. There are a few shops and cafes at Cottesloe, although all the beaches are remarkably uncommercialised compared with UK seaside resorts. Buying food at the beach was very expensive – in fact buying food anywhere in Perth was an eye-watering experience. Most goods generally seemed dearer than in the UK, although public transport was considerably cheaper. We were staying in an outer suburb – an attractive little town, amusingly called ‘The City of Bassendean’ – and were able to get a train (electric) to Cottesloe, changing in Perth city centre, a journey of about 40 minutes for $4 each. The train was also spotlessly clean; in fact Perth city centre, suburbs and beaches were all litter free. If cleanliness is next to Godliness, Perth is well on its way to being a little slice of heaven, which in fact it is on so many levels.
Down Under
Or maybe not… Perth sits on the edge of Western Australia, quite isolated from other main centres of population. And more to the point what it has to offer principally is beaches – long, wide, empty beaches of soft, white sand. If you’re also a Bill Bryson fan, you’ll know that beaches are not really his thing, especially as on one long stretch dogs are permitted.
However for me the beaches of Perth made for a perfect holiday. I say ‘beaches’ because they have different names, but in fact it is really one six or seven mile long expanse of coastline. Nevertheless each section does have its own unique character in terms of surroundings and sea conditions. The northern-most beach that I visited was called Scarborough. It was also my first experience of swimming in Australia and felt somewhat daunting on that first day as the conditions were what are termed locally ‘dumping surf’. The waves smashed into me, bowling me off my feet and giving me an experience something akin to a rapid spin in a washing machine. By the evening I actually needed pain-killers to ease my aching joints! But please don’t be put off, as on other days I had some wonderful swims at this beach. The waves were still big, but didn’t smack in the same way – or else I had become better at leaping over and diving under them.
Scarborough beach, like all the Perth beaches, has free car parking – an unheard of luxury if you’re from the UK – from which a sort of mini- amphitheatre leads down to the sand. One day we saw a wedding taking place in this area, with the bride and groom on the sand and the guests seated on the curved bank of stone steps. Just across the road is a small shopping mall, where you can find take-away sandwiches, drinks and cakes, as well as a couple of cafes. I also discovered ‘The Phantom’ comics in a newsagent here, which was pleasing as they are not published in the UK and the only ones I can find on Amazon are back copies, rather than current issues.
Scarborough has lifeguards in attendance, although they seemed to have a more restful job than the ones you see on TV on ‘Bondi Rescue’! I found the waves fun – there’s no dilly-dallying on the edge of the water here; you’ve no choice but to plunge right in. And once past the breakers you can mostly float over them, with the added excitement of sometimes having waves coming in two directions at once as they rebound from the shelving beach. For those of us familiar with the gentle sloping beaches of the south coast of England or the Spanish Costas the Perth sea doesn’t seem especially child-friendly, as you are quickly out of your depth. But Australian kids appear more resilient; none of the ones I saw minded being splashed and many tinies were skidding along the sea margin on body boards, while some who only looked about eight or nine were body-boarding properly.
South from Scarborough is what we called ‘the dog beach’. This runs for a couple of miles, with car parks and access points every few hundred yards. This section is backed by sand dunes and for the less fit among us it was quite an effort toiling up the sandy slope, though definitely worth it when you reach the peak and see the blue, shimmering Indian Ocean waiting for you down the other side. You are asked to access this section of beach only through the appointed pathways, in order to protect the dunes – there is the added incentive of warnings of snakes! I have an absolute terror of snakes, but I’m pleased to say that I made it through my 3 week stay without seeing a single one. I seem to remember Bill Bryson dwelling on the dangers of wildlife in Australia at some length – he should have visited Perth; even the jellyfish are relatively benign. I was in the sea one day when I felt a slight stabbing in my side. I managed to ignore it, but later found quite a prominent rash. This was evidently what the locals call a ‘stinger’. It was quite itchy for several days, but easily soothed by antihistamine cream and certainly didn’t deter me from continuing to enjoy the water.
Anyway, the ‘dog beach’ was a wonderful place for dog owners to exercise their hounds and it was lovely to watch them running, playing and swimming so sociably together. Incidentally there was no dog poo visible anywhere and even plastic bags provided to make it easy for owners to clean up. We had some good swims from this beach. When my niece (a local) warned me not to swim out too far, I thought she was concerned about lack of lifeguards and perhaps currents, but she said actually it was sharks she had in mind. We frequently saw a helicopter patrolling the whole stretch of Perth coastline, apparently on shark watch – perhaps after all the local fauna isn’t entirely harmless!
One day we decided to go to City Beach, which is not particularly near the city but surrounded by parks and affluent-looking housing. On this particular day the waves were especially high and the lifeguards were earning their keep actively patrolling the beach, telling people only to go in if they could swim well. We enjoyed our swim and it was possible to float over even the biggest waves if you caught them before they broke. There were toilet facilities here but I don’t recall any shops – we had a picnic with us.
The next beach heading south was Cottesloe. Here the sea was at its gentlest, though never completely flat. The sand was especially fine powder too, whereas at Scarborough it was slightly grittier with crushed shells in its make-up. There are a few shops and cafes at Cottesloe, although all the beaches are remarkably uncommercialised compared with UK seaside resorts. Buying food at the beach was very expensive – in fact buying food anywhere in Perth was an eye-watering experience. Most goods generally seemed dearer than in the UK, although public transport was considerably cheaper. We were staying in an outer suburb – an attractive little town, amusingly called ‘The City of Bassendean’ – and were able to get a train (electric) to Cottesloe, changing in Perth city centre, a journey of about 40 minutes for $4 each. The train was also spotlessly clean; in fact Perth city centre, suburbs and beaches were all litter free. If cleanliness is next to Godliness, Perth is well on its way to being a little slice of heaven, which in fact it is on so many levels.
Down Under
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