The first date is crucial because it gives you the opportunity to provide your first and lasting impressions to your date. You can do many things to feel great and will leave a man with the best impression. It starts with looking and feeling your best.  Your exterior beauty can only exist as a compliment to your inner beauty.  In many cases, your inner and outer beauty together is what will enthuse a man to ask you on a second date and desire to see you long-term.

As you are preparing yourself for the first date, remember the rules of simple beauty.   Wear clothing that accentuates your best assets and cover yourself enough to leave a man to imagine. Clothing should enhance the silhouette of your body, but not reveal so much to appear naked. Your makeup should also be simple and natural so that you look beautiful, yet as if you are not wearing makeup. Men are often attracted to the woman who stepped out of the gym simply dressed and freshly showered with no makeup and a glow on her face. At this moment, a man is enticed by a woman’s raw beauty, which can also be very sexy to a man.

Once you are physically ready for your first date, you must also be mentally prepared. Allow yourself to be relaxed and light in your demeanor. If you are intense, stressed or nervous, a man will sense it and you will give off negative energy. To relax yourself, keep in mind you are embarking on a journey to meet a new friend – what grows out of this first date is up to both of you.  Remember, on a first date, a man wants to make a positive connection. This positive connection is – She is beautiful. She has a great energy about her. It is also – She is accomplished and intelligent, yet down-to-earth. She made me feel good about myself. She is different from other women.

While men desire a woman who is beautiful, accomplished and intelligent, they also desire a woman who is humble and easygoing. This is not the time to dominate the date or the time to verbally judge him or others. This is also not the time to brag about your accomplishments. It is important to be humble. Also, be engaged and present with your conversation and be thoughtful and kind with your words. Don’t criticize him. This may seem obvious, but many women are unaware when they are being critical. Sharp responses such as, “Why would you do that?” or “I don’t like that” are not well received by men. Also be sure not to monopolize on the conversation. It’s the first date and though you want to be friendly, you should be interested in hearing his ideas and opinions as well.

It is also important you don’t give off any sign you are looking for a relationship. Erase it from your mind completely. Don’t mention it or think about it. Instead, go into the first date with a positive attitude and focus on enjoying a few hours out. Don’t setup expectations beyond that. If a connection is meant to be between the two of you, it will happen naturally if you approach the date with a relaxed, open attitude. If no connection comes out of the date, then it was a few hours of your life that were necessary to experience in order to eventually meet the man who is right for you. It’s nothing more and you shouldn’t allow it to be anything more.  It may be awhile before you meet the one who you make the right connection with and the more comfortable and accepting you are of this fact, the more desirable you are to men because you will appear only obtainable to the right man.

When the first date comes to an end, no matter how well it went, don’t go home with a man and don’t sleep with him. If you do, there is a good chance he won’t call you again, and if he does call you again, he will probably only want to see you a couple of times more. Once you sleep with a man, the mystery of you disappears and a man is less intrigued to pursue you. Be sure not to expose yourself completely on a first date and let a man gradually get to know you. Allow there to be build up to each intimate moment. Even a kiss on the first date should wait until another date if you barely know the person.

As you put these rituals into practice, you’ll find more men asking you out a second time because you will appear beautiful, relaxed, comfortable with yourself, fun, interesting to be around, and desirable to know better. From the beginning of the first date, you are embodying the attributes of the ideal female companion, and at the end of the date, you will leave a man intrigued, hoping to see you again. It is both your inner and outer beauty combined that will transform you into the ideal first date and the ultimate female companion.

Yours in Spirit,

Hanako

Author of The Geisha Secret