Thanks to all who voted on the cover designs for I Am Suicide Man - I’ll leave the poll open for anyone who missed it, but it appears we have a clear winner. Today though, let’s talk trailers.

Put your voice in this, my ear

Wet Beaks

The book trailer is a funny old thing. I think it’s mainly the preserve of vanity publishers like myself; most proper authors wouldn’t be caught drunk lowering themselves to such a contemptible art form. I’m not sure if a book trailer has ever really helped sales, but pretending my book is being made into a film, with a star name attached and 17 Executive Producers wetting their beaks, is, trust me, a lot of fun.

Of course, the idea of I Am Suicide Man being made into a film has been around for some time – 18 months ago a Romanian witch insisted that Danish director Thomas Vinterberg would adapt it into an arthouse masterpiece. I am yet to hear from Thomas, mind, while my famous Danish actor friend, Nicolai (who I’ve earmarked to play the lead – you may have seen him being murdered in The Killing, or acting like a despicable coward in Vinterberg’s superb The Hunt), has been similarly quiet. But there’s still time. Rights are still available.

I Need You

Anyway, like a very thin Hitchcock with much less drawing and directing talent, I’ve been sketching out, frame by frame, the way in which I’d like my trailer to work. And, as per bloody usual, I need your help.

I Am Suicide Man is not really about suicide. It’s about fame, modern media and society and the way we all feel the day we realise that our childhood dreams probably won’t come true after all, and all that’s left is the brisk onrush of middle-aged drudgery and then old age and then death.

You all feel like that, right?

I want your voice talents to help construct a kind of sonic montage to reflect that the Suicide Man and his idea and his actions create, within the book, a national scandal that everyone discusses on TV, forums, the radio and in newspapers. You know, like how people have been talking about Cowell getting hit by an egg.

It’s Good to Talk

If you are kind enough to volunteer, the process would involve delivering a single line of dialogue. If you are technologically minded, you could do this by crafting a voice file, perhaps using your iPhone, and then sending it to me. Or, if that is a hassle, you could simply leave the dialogue on my voicemail and I’ll ‘rip it’ (get me) from there.

People who can do a newsreader-style voice would be especially useful, but I do need variety. If you’re worried about the company you’d be keeping, I can confirm that the incredible actress/playwright/vamp/raconteur Sadie Hasler has agreed to take part – this is not a Mickey Mouse operation (although, in terms of using disembodied voices, I suppose it is).

If you’re up for this, I’d be massively grateful. What do you get in return? Immortality.

To take part, leave a message here, drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter, or email me: dantrelfer at gmail.com.

There are tons of exciting developments coming up in the next few weeks, including news of the LAUNCH PARTY. So do stay tuned.

This week’s soundtrack: With A Little Help From My Friends – Joe Cocker

This week’s e-book recommendation: Quick Guide to Producing Your Own Book Trailer – Wade Vendon (There really is an e-book for everything these days).

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