WARNING: This blog may be hazardous to your health.
Well folks it looks like it’s that time of year again. Time for dumb ass of the week.
A man was pumping gas in Georgia and set his wife on fire by “accidentally” flicking his lighter near the gas pump. One cannot simply make this stuff up. Here is a link to the NY Daily News (yes word has spread from Georgia to NY so you know it must be good)
This is the ringing endorsement for why we have safety labels on everything. I’m sure by now you read my rant about car commercials and their associated warnings(if not I suggest you do so). I have seen safety labels ranging from “do not fold stroller with baby inside” all the way to “do not dry pets in the microwave”. I am pretty sure that there are warnings to not smoke while pumping gas, but I’m not positive. /sarcasm off.
Apparently America is doing it wrong. Apparently safety labels are not having their desired effect. Common sense died with disco- and we tried to resurrect it with labels. This is my proposal to the United States in an effort to protect us as a species.
Remove all of the safety labels. That’s right, take ‘em off . No more “Please do not rail slide with a vehicle” or “Warning: coffee may be hot”. Do away with the “Please do not eat the silicon packet inside” and the “Do not stick your hand in the fan”. DO AWAY WITH IT ALL! Let natural selection take over. Do you think Jesse James received a safety label with his six-shot? Was there a safety label on the horse when Paul Revere hopped up on it? Did Thomas Edison need a safety label when he was pumping currents of electricity through everything?
The United States needs help. It needs more than a booming economy, jobs, free healthcare, or free education. We need to eliminate the stupid people. The less stupid people we have, the more room we have for educated, productive members of society. I say we start with Congress. Remove the safety labels off the entire Capitol Building. Hopefully we can lose half of them by lunchtime.
You knew I had to rant about the government in there somewhere. There should be only one place where there is a safety label. Reading stuff I post.
“Warning: May cause ocular bleeding, cramps, migraine and depression.”
