Defining Success
At the dreaded day job, January is review month. It’s the time of the year when supervisors and co-workers assess my work for 2013, award me a ratings number and determine my compensation. For better or worse, at the end of review month I know where I stand. Good review=more money=success.
If only my writing life was so clear cut. I’ve been at the writing game for five years now, long enough for most people in my life to know about my second life as a romance novelist. Friends often ask me “how’s the writing going?” That seemingly innocuous questions has some undertones though and I often struggle to say anything more than “fine.” We live in an achievement oriented society. From the age of six, we’re conditioned to strive to be the best: get straight As, be on the honor role, land the lead in the school play, win that game. And of course the achievement train continues long after graduation: get into a good college, get the good job, meet the right guy, live the perfect life. So when people ask me “how’s the writing?” what I really think they’re asking is: Are your books in Barnes & Noble? Are they going to make your book into a movie? Have you made the New York Times bestseller list? Have you made a million dollars like E.L.James?
Sadly, the answer to all of those questions remains no. But what does that mean? Am I a successful writer? By those standards, I am not. Some might even say I’m a failure, that I’m just wasting my time. But I love writing. Is doing something you love the definition of success? And there are people who’ve read my books who enjoyed them. One reviewer said one of my books made her cry. Surely having readers love your book is a viable measure of success.
Maybe in order to be a successful writer you have to change your definition of success. Most writers will not sell even a tenth of the number of books Nora Roberts has sold and most writers will not be best-sellers -- those are just the sad facts of life. But every day that a writer sits in her chair and pulls something from deep within her soul that is unique and beautiful and real, is in my opinion a day that she is a success. If even one reader can lose themselves in a world that you’ve created out of nothing, then you’re a successful writer. Letting the world define you and prevent you from pursuing your dreams to me is the real mark of a failure.
If only my writing life was so clear cut. I’ve been at the writing game for five years now, long enough for most people in my life to know about my second life as a romance novelist. Friends often ask me “how’s the writing going?” That seemingly innocuous questions has some undertones though and I often struggle to say anything more than “fine.” We live in an achievement oriented society. From the age of six, we’re conditioned to strive to be the best: get straight As, be on the honor role, land the lead in the school play, win that game. And of course the achievement train continues long after graduation: get into a good college, get the good job, meet the right guy, live the perfect life. So when people ask me “how’s the writing?” what I really think they’re asking is: Are your books in Barnes & Noble? Are they going to make your book into a movie? Have you made the New York Times bestseller list? Have you made a million dollars like E.L.James?
Sadly, the answer to all of those questions remains no. But what does that mean? Am I a successful writer? By those standards, I am not. Some might even say I’m a failure, that I’m just wasting my time. But I love writing. Is doing something you love the definition of success? And there are people who’ve read my books who enjoyed them. One reviewer said one of my books made her cry. Surely having readers love your book is a viable measure of success.
Maybe in order to be a successful writer you have to change your definition of success. Most writers will not sell even a tenth of the number of books Nora Roberts has sold and most writers will not be best-sellers -- those are just the sad facts of life. But every day that a writer sits in her chair and pulls something from deep within her soul that is unique and beautiful and real, is in my opinion a day that she is a success. If even one reader can lose themselves in a world that you’ve created out of nothing, then you’re a successful writer. Letting the world define you and prevent you from pursuing your dreams to me is the real mark of a failure.
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