Author Daniel Parmeggiani describes how we make all our decisions based on 4 questions designed to test the potential for pain and pleasure of each possible option.

Our spiritual journey is our gradual awakening to who we really are. A big part of this awakening is becoming aware of what we really want and what truly drives all our actions and decisions. In last week’s post, we saw that we are constantly seeking to improve how we feel. We saw that even when we sacrifice ourselves for others, our goal is always to maximize our own well-being. That means that we are always seeking out the optimal combination of least amount of pain and most amount of pleasure every moment of our lives.

This week, we will delve a little deeper into our own inner workings by looking at what goes on inside our minds before we arrive at any decision.

In a process that is often unconscious and automatic, before we make any choice we test our available options against one or more of these four possible questions:

What would be least painful?  Should I leave him and feel lonely and insecure or should I just continue to put up with the abuse? Should I pluck or wax? To be or not to be? Should I donate to this charity?
What would be most pleasurable? Which of the thirty-one flavors of ice cream do I feel like today? Where do we want to go on vacation? Who do I want to go out with? Should I donate to this charity?
Does the immediate pleasure justify the potential future pain? Should I hit the snooze button again and blow off my morning workout? Should I have that extra slice of pizza? Should I donate to this charity?
Does the potential reward of future pleasure justify the immediate pain? Is it worth having that plastic surgery procedure? Should I quit smoking? Should I donate to this charity?

No, that was not a typo. I placed the same question, “Should I donate to this charity?” in all four categories to make the point that, although we all interpret problems and situations differently, we always look for the most rewarding solution in terms of pain and pleasure.

Some people cringe whenever they are approached by somebody requesting donations. They perceive it as a Question 1 situation, and if there is not enough time to turn out all the lights and act like nobody’s home, they will reluctantly answer the doorbell and look for the least painful way out.

For others, their question may be, “Which charity would benefit most from my donation?” In this case, by helping the most worthy cause, they seek to maximize their sense of contribution, a form of pleasure (Question 2).

There may also be those who enjoy the act of giving but distrust charitable organizations in general. They may wonder, “Am I going to regret having given away this money when, one day, I find out that this organization is corrupt like so many others?” Here, the immediate pleasure of giving is being measured against potential future pain (Question 3).

Finally, there are people who hate to part with their money but at the same time imagine that God or destiny may reward them someday for their sacrifice (Question 4).

Four different interpretations, and yet, the unspoken underlying question remains the same: Which option will bring me the most pleasure and/or the least amount of pain?

If you look closely at your own experience, you will be able to verify for yourself that this is exactly how you always operate, without exception. To test this, see if you can come up with any other questions you ask yourself when making a decision. Invariably, you will find that any possible question you come up with boils down into one of the above four questions. This is how we all function, and the more you become aware of this, the more you are able to understand and forgive your own and other people’s misguided actions and decisions. We all share the same common goal, the same ultimate destination. We are all climbing the same mountain, trying to reach the top with every step we ever take. The only difference between us is our understanding of what it takes to get there.

Becoming deeply aware that we all function in the same way and are motivated by exactly the same desired outcome is the first step in the path to non-judgment, compassion and true forgiveness. My Internationally Bestselling book, The Magnificent Truths of Our Existence, leads you on a step-by-step healing path to discovering your own absolute innocence and finding real self-forgiveness and self-love. Click here to receive great bonus gifts to go along with your purchase.

What do you think about the four questions? Can you think of anything else we ask ourselves before making a decision? Leave your comments below!

Thanks for checking in, and may these truths bring you the perfect happiness, love, and inner peace that you so rightfully deserve.

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Daniel Parmeggiani

1 6th May, 2014

The post The Four Questions We Always Ask Before We Do Anything appeared first on Magnificient Truth.