If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you know I talk a lot about sex. It’s a fun subject, to be sure, and something we men think about frequently, although Psychology Today has disproven the old theory that we think about it every 8 seconds. Hmm. I guess that means it’s every 10 seconds, huh?

Nevertheless, kissing is a pretty darn awesome part of the experience, and sometimes it can be even more intimate than the whole enchilada. All of our feelings and emotions are concentrated through the dance between our lips and tongues, meaning it can be a very powerful experience.

So I’d like to look at a few ways to get more of those, please.

1. Fresh Breath

This may seem absurdly obvious, but of all the things that can shut down a glorious make-out session, not to mention what else it might lead to, bad breath takes the pole position. That’s why morning sex often excludes kissing, lest the bad breath put on the brakes, and I think that’s a shame.

I know it might break the heat of passion, but perhaps someone can make a quick detour to the bathroom to brush his or her teeth and bring that minty freshness back to the bedroom. Sex without kissing seems like a prime Filet Mignon without a glass of Cabernet. But I digress.

Guys frequently wake up aroused, which everyone knows, but it may come as a surprise that men often make devious plans for how they’re going to convince their girl to participate in an early morning romp. So, my fraternal brothers, I suggest you make a beeline for the toothbrush while she’s still sleeping and you’re in the process of developing your strategy. Then slip back under the covers and let the wake-up kissing begin.

2. Lingering Glances

How many times have you watched a romantic movie and felt that the two main characters didn’t have any chemistry? It happens a lot, doesn’t it? Well, from what I’ve observed time and time again, it’s the director’s fault. He or she failed to implement the most powerful visual element to make the mutual yearning believable.

It’s not so much what two characters say, but how they act toward each other that makes their romance convincing. And there’s nothing more powerful than those extended looks of wanting as they gaze into each other’s eyes. Next time you watch a movie where the relationship between the hero and heroine takes your breath away, notice how they exchange romantic, lingering glances. It’s an essential visual tool in movies that great directors use proficiently.

The same effect can be achieved between two real people, but this time the passion is authentic. So, if you’re a guy looking for some kisses, try staring into your girl’s eyes for a little while as you think about how much you want her. Most likely she’ll end up wrinkling her brow and saying a single word: “What?”

Your response: “I’m just thinking about how much I want to kiss you.”

If she doesn’t absolutely adore you for that and melt in your arms, eagerly awaiting your lips, you’re probably in trouble for something and better fix it before you have to graduate to more persuasive tools like flowers or diamonds.

3. Appreciate Your Mate

I know what you’re thinking. This guy isn’t telling me anything I don’t already know. But let me ask you something. How often do you actually think about these concepts and put them into action?

Uh-huh. Thought so. Which means you need a refresher course. And here it is!

My third point is that people love being valued and appreciated and told how wonderful they are. Especially the fairer sex. But our lives and relationships are so complicated that we often forget to make it known. Still, no matter how true these sentiments may be, they are of no value to your mate if you don’t share them. And guess what? Kisses are a perfect way to say thank you, so it’s a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Wrap your arms around your girl’s waist, look her in the eyes, and tell her how much you appreciate her for letting you watch Monday Night Football. Then kiss her.

Splendid.

4. Extra Effort

Just as we humans like being appreciated, we also enjoy being the recipients of extra thoughtfulness, kindness and pampering. So I’ve found that doing something wonderful and unexpected for my girl often results in appreciative kisses. So I’m often motivated to do such things every day.

The challenge, however, is keeping it fresh. Otherwise you’ll succumb to the old adage: “When you do something for someone else, you don’t obligate them. You obligate yourself.”

What does that mean? Well, if you start bringing your girl coffee in bed every morning for the next two weeks, and one day you decide to stop doing it under the assumption you’ve successfully convinced her how wonderful you are, how do you think she’s going to react? Not good, right? She’ll think something went wrong, and maybe (egad!) you don’t love her anymore. So instead, you better bring her coffee in bed forever. But really, you’re making coffee anyway, so how much trouble is that?

Nevertheless, perhaps it makes sense to do something different and spontaneous each day. Just get creative. If you do, she will brag to everyone about how wonderful you are. Oh, and you’ll probably get rewarded with kisses. That’s part of your motivation here, after all.

5. Glistening Lips

This particular point is really more for women than men, which is only fair since this article has been pretty much guy-driven so far. Yes, there’s a lot of crossover, but it’s the guys who really need the refresher course, don’t they? You girls have most of this stuff figured out already.

Nevertheless, here is an important and useful fact: Men, like fish, are attracted to shiny objects. As I have noted in numerous past articles, men are visually oriented, and this is a prime example of that. Consequently, a pair of shiny lips are just, well, delicious to us. So we really do appreciate all the effort women go through to select and apply lipstick, lip gloss or whatever else you employ to make your lips glisten in the moonlight.

Men also like it when women lick their lips, as if they’re preparing to be kissed. In fact, we have an almost Pavlovian response when we see your tongue skate across your lips, so we’ll probably kiss you tout de suite without even thinking about it. Instant gratification is such a lovely thing, isn’t it?

Seriously. Give it a try. Walk up to your guy, look in his eyes, and lick your lips. Then tell me in the comments below if it worked. My money is on that sexy goddess within you.

Cheers, darling. And happy kissing.