“It wasn’t until I’d walked halfway across the parking lot that I realized: 1. I wasn’t wearing shoes.
A. Or a shirt.
2. I didn’t bring my keys                      
A. Or anything really.
3. I’d just left a complete stranger in my apartment.                      
A. Naked.

Whoever said one-night stands were supposed to be simple with no strings attached had clearly never met the disaster that was me.”