Alison Roeder > Alison's Quotes

“Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.”
― John Barrymore

“Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“The number one job of the dominant is to continually seduce consent from the bottom.”
― Joseph Bean

“In this world, there are things you can only do alone, and things you can only do with somebody else. It's important to combine the two in just the right amount.”
― Haruki Murakami, After Dark

“Every gay man out there has at least one man-crush in his past that totally shriveled his nads into raisins and sent him screaming off into the night.”
― T.A. Webb, Second Chances

“You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?

Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“It makes me want to kiss her and strangle her at the same time. I’ve never been into S&M. But I’m beginning to see its benefits.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Let me repeat that in case you missed it:

ALL GUYS TALK TO THEIR FRIENDS ABOUT SEX.

If a guy tells you he doesn’t? Dump him, because he’s lying to you.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Delores is a gorgeous name, for a gorgeous girl. Plus, it rhymes with clitoris...and I really know my way around them. Big fan.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Vaginas beat penises every time.
They're like kryptonite.
Penises are defenseless against them.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“It’s simple guy logic: If a woman is angry? It means she cares. If you’re in a relationship and a chick can’t even be bothered to yell at you? You’re screwed. Indifference is a woman’s kiss of death. It’s the equivalent of a man not interested in sex. In either case—it’s over. You’re done.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“No, I haven’t fucked her. Not that I wouldn’t love to. Trust me, if she didn’t work for me, I’d hit that harder than Mohammed Ali.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Maybe you’ll understand my point of view if I put it this way. You brush your teeth, right? Well,
suppose your favorite toothpaste is Aquafresh. But the store is out. All they have is Colgate. What are you
going to do? You’re going to use the Colgate, right?
You may want to brush with Aquafresh, but when all is said and done, you use what you have to keep
those pearly whites clean. See my way of thinking? Good.”
― emma chase, Tangled

“I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THIS, but lots of guys have a thing for Ariel. You know, from The Little Mermaid? I’ve never been into her myself, but I can understand the attraction: she fills out her shells nicely, she’s a redhead, and she spends most of the movie unable to speak.
In light of this, I’m not too disturbed about the semi I’m sporting while watching Beauty and the Beast—part of the homework Erin gave me. I like Belle. She’s hot. Well…for a cartoon, anyway. She reminds me of Kate. She’s resourceful. Smart. And she doesn’t take any shit from the Beast or that douchebag with the freakishly large arms.
I stare at the television as Belle bends over to feed a bird. Then I lean forward, hoping for a nice cleavage shot…
I’m going to hell, aren’t I?”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“You've won the evolutionary lottery: You're a vampire. Let's go to Disneyland!”
― J.R. Ward, Dark Lover

“I’m horny as a motherfucker, hard and itching to get my sadistic groove on. As I stroke myself, my mind starts coming up with all sorts of fantastic ways I can torture my beautiful wife as I look around the room for more everyday items that will work in that regard.”
― Ella Dominguez, The Art of Control

“Not ever. I may be a sadist, but I’m no son-of-a-bitch.”
― Ella Dominguez, The Art of Control

“The difference between a self-induced orgasm and an orgasm given by a man is like comparing a rainy day and a rainstorm. Rain was a sure thing, you knew exactly what you were going to get: a clean and crisp, both sweet and refreshing experience. But rainstorms were unpredictable, they were riddled with surprises, messy and wet; they were something you had no control over.
Rainstorms brought you to your knees, soaking you in uncontrollable need, lightning flashing before your eyes while you dug your fingers deep into the earth, trying to hold on; unable to tell which was louder...the thunder roaring in your ears or the pounding of your heart.”
― Madeline Sheehan, Unbeautifully

“If you come within two feet of this curtain, I will poke out your eyes while you sleep.”
― Jamie McGuire, Beautiful Disaster

“In fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist." We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs.”
― Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“Don't be afraid" he whispered against her lips "This life is nothing but one blink of God's eyes. He'll blink again, and we'll be back together”
― Tiffany Reisz, The Mistress

“Oh, Jesus Christ on a fuckin’ pushbike.”
― Tabitha McGowan, The Tied Man

“No man wants to fuck a skeleton—and nibbling crackers and water like a prisoner of war at dinner isn’t attractive. It just makes us think about what a cranky bitch you’re going to be later on because you’re starving. If a guy’s into you? A cheeseburger deluxe is not going to scare him away. And if he’s not? Ingesting all the greens on Peter Cottontail’s farm isn’t going to change that, trust me.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“Stop fighting me!" he said, trying to pull on the arm he held.

He was in a precarious position himself, straddling the rail as he tried to lean over far enough to get me and actually hold onto me.

“Let go of me!” I yelled back.

But he was too strong and managed to haul most of me over the rail, enough so that I wasn’t in total danger of falling again.

See, here’s the thing. In that moment before I let go, I really had been contemplating my death. I’d come to terms with it and accepted it. I also, however, had known Dimitri might do something exactly like this. He was just that fast and that good. That was why I was holding my stake in the hand that was dangling free.

I looked him in the eye. "I will always love you."

Then I plunged the stake into his chest.

It wasn’t as precise a blow as I would have liked, not with the skilled way he was dodging. I struggled to get the stake in deep enough to his heart, unsure if I could do it from this angle. Then, his struggles stopped. His eyes stared at me, stunned, and his lips parted, almost into a smile, albeit a grisly and pained one.

"That’s what I was supposed to say. . .” he gasped out.

Those were his last words.”
― Richelle Mead, Blood Promise

“You forgot to cross off anal sex.”
“I tried it once. Didn’t like it. If you’re better at it, I’ll have another crack.” I paused. “No pun intended.”
― C.D. Reiss, Submit

“Tommy would never look at me like that, except maybe if I were walking toward him butt naked carrying a heaping plate of bacon.”
― Beth Ehemann, Room for You

“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“It's a house. Maybe if you were here with me, I'd see it more as a home.”
― Jaime Reese, A Hunted Man