Quotes - Emily (santaslittlehelper) Showing 1-30 of 174

#1

“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
― Charles Addams

tags: humor, life, morticia-addams

667 likes

#2

“Look at her -- I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way -- what bliss.”
― Charles Addams

tags: love

74 likes

#3

“It's hard to say. Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods. And sometimes they just haven't found their special place in life. And sometimes they're dogs from hell and must be destroyed.”
― Charles Addams

tags: childhood, happiness

44 likes

#4

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

tags: life, navigation

39248 likes

#5

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing

32144 likes

#6

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11372 likes

#7

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23457 likes

#8

“Don't Panic.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: h2g2, hitchhiker-s-guide, humor, panic

4705 likes

#9

“A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: life

3611 likes

#10

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

tags: design, foolproof, ingenuity

3748 likes

#11

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

tags: british, humor, science-fiction, social-commentary, thumb, towel

3660 likes

#12

“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie DeChooch”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

tags: humor

1541 likes

#13

“Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.”
― Janet Evanovich

tags: birthday, cake, life, novels, romance

1103 likes

#14

“My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.”
― Janet Evanovich

502 likes

#15

“I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

399 likes

#16

“I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

262 likes

#17

“In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

230 likes

#18

“Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.”
― Janet Evanovich

tags: action, humor, romance

246 likes

#19

“Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

tags: kindlehighlight

234 likes

#20

“I'd bitch slap the devil for you.”
― Janet Evanovich

196 likes

#21

“I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

tags: humor

205 likes

#22

“I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate."
Grandma Mazur”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

56 likes

#23

“When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.”
― Janet Evanovich, Lean Mean Thirteen

tags: humor, stephanie-plum

66 likes

#24

“You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms."
Joe Morelli”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

57 likes

#25

“I need mood music. I gotta get myself ready to kick butt."
Lula - High Five”
― Janet Evanovich, High Five

62 likes

#26

“He's a good man," Ranger said.
"And you?"
"I'm better.”
― Janet Evanovich, Lean Mean Thirteen

56 likes

#27

“Joe" I said. "It's Stephanie."
"Does this involve death?"
"Not yet."
"Does this involve sex?"
"Not yet."
"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

tags: joe-morelli, stephanie

37 likes

#29

“Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

tags: penance

28 likes

#30

“You're such a cupcake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Sizzling Sixteen

tags: joe-morelli

31 likes

#31

“I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

188 likes

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