Nix Buttons > Nix's Quotes

“I'm always happy- it annoys people.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Bear Meets Girl

“Zach - "Yes. And Tigers. And mountain lions. There's an array of shifters."

Sara - "Bunnies?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“Are you afraid?" Volker questioned while sitting at the table and getting comfortable.
"No. But I have incredible luck with dice and I am ruthless. You will lose, gentlemen. I will destroy your lands, take your women, ravish your men, and make your children my slave labor. I will own every castle, house, and farm that is within my reach. I won't be satisfied until I own all of it and you. I will destroy you all, gentlemen, and, to be quite blunt, I don't think you can handle it."
Van covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he didn't dare look at his sister. Verner stepped back, motioning to the table. "Now I must insist."
"As you wish." Irene sighed and stood. She glanced at Van and gave him a quick wink before turning back to his uncle. "I do hope you're a 'sobber,' Mr. Van Holtz. Nothing I love more than the lamenting of the men I annihilate."

"I can't believe you made him cry."
"I did not. He just teared up a little."
"Yeah. I think it was when you told him, 'I now control your ports and own your manhood.'"
"His wife laughed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, When He Was Bad

“You admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand proof. Did you learn nothing in Boot Camp?"
(Mace to Smitty)”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Gwen hates me,” she reminded him.

“Don’t be narcissistic. She hates everyone.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“So, hoss. Have you actually told her you’re in love with her?”

“She won’t let me. When I tried, she threw me down a flight of stairs.”

“And you’re not concerned about that?”

“There weren’t that many steps.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“This conversation" - Dez rapped her knuckles against the Formica table- "is over."
"Be careful, Dez," Jimmy stated earnestly.
"And don't sleep with him the first night," Vinny warned. "We know what a slut you can be."
Dez turned to Sal. "Do you have anything to add to this bullshit?"
"Yeah." Sal looked down from the ceiling he'd been staring at. "Based on the structure of this building, if we removed that pillar back there, we could take out this whole block."
Dez sighed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Smitty gave his best pout. “Why are y’all trying to hurt me?”
“Because it’s fun?”
“It’s easy.”
“I love it when you cry.”
Smitty sighed. “Forget I asked.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“He’d never been to a wedding at a castle before but it fit the style of the bride, who brought geekiness to a whole new level. In fact, she was the one who’d told him to go. Wait. That wasn’t right. She didn’t tell him to go. She’d told him to, “Make a break for it! Before the
hounds of darkness come for you and destroy our plans to release our people from their enslavement! Go, Lachlan MacRyrie of the Clan MacRyrie. Go! And don’t look back, my friend!” It would seem strange to those who didn’t know her, but Lock knew it was simply Jessica Ward’s way of saying, “Could you look more miserable? Just go already!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“I don't know which will upset you more," she replied. "Telling you it's nothing but clutter or confessing that I often take it out and play 'I am Boba Fett' when I don't think anyone can see me.”
― Shelly Laurenston , Beast Behaving Badly

“Because isn’t that what the holidays are all about— letting your family make you wish you were an orphan?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“She decided to be honest. “You”—she pointed at Dee-Ann—“kill at the slightest provocation. I hit for no other reason than I feel like it. And MacDermot is rude and abrasive.” Cella put her arms around each woman’s shoulders and hugged them in tight. “Oh, my God! I just realized. I love you guys!”

“You’re touchin’ me,” Dee-Ann complained.

“Yeah, but at least this time it’s not ’cause I’m hitting you.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“...the first time he snarled, I had a bit of a panic attack.”

“She screamed and threw him at me.”

Dez scowled at Mace. “I did not throw my son at you. I just handed him over and walked quickly from the room so I could scream into a pillow in our bedroom.”

“I found her under the bed with the dogs.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“The abnormally large female cut the sandwich into four pieces and gave one to each before taking one for herself. They all took a bite and she grinned at their appreciative groans. “See?” she said around a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly. “Isn’t that good?”

“And so decadent,” Berg sighed. “I feel like I’m eating evil. Pure, unadulterated evil.”

“But good evil,” Finn added. “The finest evil ever.”

“Come!” Carl, the unabashed history fan and future historical “re-creator” of the lot—an activity Irene had always thought was an incredible waste of time for any human being with a brain—cried out,“Let us tell the others of this glory and what we have learned here today from the enemy She-wolf!”

“Huzzah!” they all cheered and ran out the kitchen back door.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“You do not interrupt a man when he is explaining his master plan after having been soundly defeated. Don't you watch any James Bond Movies?”
― Katie MacAlister, Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang

“Watch where you leave your victims! I stubbed my toe on that.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“Jabor finally appeared at the top of the stairs, sparks of flame radiating from his body and igniting the fabric of the house around him. He caught sight of the boy, reached out his hand and stepped forward.

And banged his head nicely on the low-slung attic door.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“Bartimaeus: "A small piece of advice," I said "it isn't wise to be rude to someone bigger than you, especially when they've just trapped you under a boulder."
Imp: "You can stick your advice up...."

This brief pause replaces a short, censored episode, characterized by bad language and some sadly necessary violence. When we pick up the story again, everything is as before, except that I am perspiring slightly and the contrite imp is the model of cooperation.

Bartimaeus: "I'll ask again: who is Rupert Deveraeux?"
Imp: "He's the British Prime Minister, oh Most Bounteous and Merciful one.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“A word of friendly advice could have saved him, but dear me, I was too busy watching him unravel to think of it until it was far too late.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“many weighty books on magic that looked as if they had been bound in human skin at the beginning of time but had probably been mass-produced last week by a factory in Catford.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Amulet of Samarkand

“Check out that one at the end. He's taken the form of a footstool. Weird...but somehow I like his style."

"That is a footstool.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye

“Despite his crimped shirts and flowing mane (or perhaps because of them) I had seen no evidence as yet that Nathaniel even knew what a girl was. If he'd ever met one, chances are they'd both have run screaming in opposite directions.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye

“I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered."
"What! How long has it been?"
"Five minutes. I got bored.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye

“I—though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl's shoe and the glove compartment—was my usual dignified self.”
― Jonathan Stroud, The Golem's Eye

“According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking.”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate

“He was a worried man (I'm stretching the term a bit here, I know. By now, in his mid to late teens, he might just about have passed for a man. When seen from behind. At a distance. On a very dark night).”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate

“Pardon me, Highness, a women waits whithout."
"Whithout what?”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate

“The object that was pinning me haplessly to the ground, like a butterfly on a collector's tray, was of twentieth-century origin and of very specific function.
Oh, all right, it was a public lavatory.”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate

“Kitty shook her head. "You're wrong. Your apology isn't irrelevant and you're a fool if you can't see it. I'm grateful that you stopped Makepeace from having me killed. Now stop being such a wet blanket and try to think of something to do."
He looked at her. "Hold on—was there a thanks buried in that pile of invective?”
― Jonathan Stroud, Ptolemy's Gate