Gauri Vilash > Gauri's Quotes

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#1

“And I told him, I said: "One day you're going to miss the subway because it's not going to come. One of these days, it's going to break down and it's not going to come around and everyone else will just wait for the next one or will take the bus, or walk, or run to the next station: they will go on with their lives. And you're not going to be able to go on with your life! You'll be standing there, in the subway station, staring at the tube. Why? Because you think that everything has to happen perfectly and on time and when you think it's going to happen! Well guess what! That's not how things happen! And you'll be the only one who's not going to be able to go on with life, just because your subway broke down. So you know what, you've got to let go, you've got to know that things don't happen the way you think they're going to happen, but that's okay, because there's always the bus, there's always the next station...you can always take a cab.”
― C. JoyBell C.

tags: accepting-life, control-issues, controlling, inspirational-life, inspirational-quotes, letting-go, life-and-living, living-life, moving-on, setting-yourself-free, the-art-of-living

623 likes

#2

“Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them. If the first woman they passionately loved, the mother, was not true to her bond of love, then how can they trust that their partner will be true to love. Often in their adult relationships these men act out again and again to test their partner's love. While the rejected adolescent boy imagines that he can no longer receive his mother's love because he is not worthy, as a grown man he may act out in ways that are unworthy and yet demand of the woman in his life that she offer him unconditional love. This testing does not heal the wound of the past, it merely reenacts it, for ultimately the woman will become weary of being tested and end the relationship, thus reenacting the abandonment. This drama confirms for many men that they cannot put their trust in love. They decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being dominant.”
― bell hooks

tags: abuse, commitment, love, men, relationships, women

1956 likes

#3

“When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment.
”
― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions

tags: relationships

1106 likes

#4

“….Nothing was inevitable. She had not chosen this way. It was her fate. It had been decided since before time began. It had been decided before she began. Nothing could be done. There was no point in trying. It was way too late. The inevitability of nothing was totally supreme, overriding everything. No way out. No way through. She could only accept the unacceptable. She could only endure the unendurable. Nothing was wrong!

Nothing was wrong and the wrongness of this awesome nothing seeped from her. Some people, only a few, saw it. Some people, only a few felt it. Some people, only a few, recognised it and in recognising it for what it was, raged against it. Through the nothingness, these few reached out for her.

She could not reach back. Through the nothingness, these few fought for her. She could not fight back for herself. Through the nothingness, these few cared for her. She could not care back for herself. Through the nothingness, these few spoke out for her, shattering the frozen silence over and over again. She could not speak out for herself…. “

*I hope this may give some comfort to people who need it. There are good, caring people (whether outside or within yourself, if need be) and you do deserve to be cared for and supported as much as anyone else does."

From “Nothing”, one of the short stories in “Fight! Rabbit! Fight!”
― Laurie Matthew, Fight! Rabbit! Fight!

tags: abuse, care, comfort, emotional-abuse, emotional-neglect, hopelessness, neglect, ritual-abuse, silence, unendurable

47 likes

#5

“The human ego is the ugliest part of man. We lift up men who only show us darkness, and put down those brave enough to show us the light. Likewise, people engage in darkness when it is light outside, and acknowledge the light only when it is dark. We abandon those fighting for us to cheer behind those fighting against us. And, we only remember good people and God when it is convenient for us, and take them for granted because their doors are always open - only to chase after closed doors and personalities void of substance and truth.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

tags: beauty, closed-doors, darkness, doors, ego, faith, fighting, god, granted, human-nature, irony, light, men, neglect, people, substance, truth, ugly, void-of-truth

78 likes

#6

“NEGLECT AND YOU WILL BE NEGLECTED

There are three people you will be judged heavily on how you treat them in this lifetime. For the man, it is his mother for giving him life, his wife for showing him life, and his daughter for teaching her all that he has learned from life. For the woman, it is her father for giving her the seed of life, her husband for showing her life, and her son for teaching him all that she has learned from life. How a person treats their parents is how they show their gratefulness to the Creator for life. How a husband and wife treat each other, is how they show the Creator how well they do with this gift of life, how well they value and honor the sacred oath they made before him, and how well they understand the Lord and his religion, LOVE. A father must be good to his wife and daughter, because from watching this treatment — the son will learn how to treat all women, and his daughter will know what a good man is supposed to act like. And a mother must always remain morally good and faithful to her husband, be attentive to all her children, and be filled with patience, forgiveness, kind words, compassion and love — so her children are raised to respect all mothers, and know what a good woman is supposed to act like. If you neglect your fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, husbands, and wives, then don't be surprised when the Creator is forced to neglect you. Neglect, and you will be neglected. Protect, and you will be protected. Reject, and you will be rejected. Love all, and all that love will be mirrored by the Creator — and reflected back onto YOU.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

8 likes

#7

“Sometimes you can’t figure out the truth because you’re asking people that are emotionally or socially invested in you to be brutally honest. Often family or friends will tell you what you want to hear, or what they want to believe because of their emotional investment in the situation. Instead of circling the drain with biased speculation, go out and get twenty unbiased people that have nothing to lose if they speak their mind and then ask them what they think. After you do that, stop asking for people’s perspectives. Accept their answer because you’re not going to ever know the real truth when the person you love lies to you. Sometimes, you only have the truth of commonsense when the unbiased majority has offered you their opinion. When we care about people, we will believe the most far-fetched fantasies to help us deal with our actions, their actions and the conversations we missed out on. Our intuition then becomes compromised. You should never put your life on hold, in order to decide what the truth is. The memory of truth no longer remains pure in the mind of a liar.”
― Shannon L. Alder

167 likes

#8

“Absence is a house so vast that inside you will pass through its walls and hang pictures on the air.”
― Pablo Neruda

tags: abandonment, cancer, death, friendship, grief, loss, mourning, sadness

225 likes

#9

“It’s strange how what drives us may abandon us midstream, how what tickles our ears with lies one moment may tell us truths that knock us on our emotional ass the next.
After all, it is an unbelievably real world, with Darwin scribbling his thoughts into books and telling us what monkeys we are. Each of us explores possibility, hungry for sustaining adoration, yet we know enough to render ourselves helpless.
We strive and strain, bellow and believe, we learn, and everything we learn tells us the same thing: life is one great meaningful experience in a meaningless world. Brilliance has many parts, yet each part is incomplete.
We live, heal and attempt to piece together a picture worth the price of our very lives.
The picture I saw presented demonic executioners, who crippled those daring to look and consumed souls without defense. They’re everywhere. Some are people we know. Others are the great fears and addictions of our lives.”
― Christopher Hawke

tags: abandon, abandoned, abandonment, addiction, addictions, darwin, fears, lies, monkeys, possibility, truth

28 likes

#10

“it seemed that the pain of their physical illness at times was less than the misery of their poverty ridden existence, the unending wait in the queues and the feeling of hopelessness and abandonment by your own system was enough to rob them of their will power to fight any disease.”
― Madhu Vajpayee, Seeking Redemption

tags: abandonment, hopelessness, illness, poverty

6 likes

#11

“I am continuously struck by how frequently the various thought processes of the inner critic trigger overwhelming emotional flashbacks. This is because the PTSD-derived inner critic weds shame and self-hate about imperfection to fear of abandonment, and mercilessly drive the psyche with the entwined serpents of perfectionism and endangerment. Recovering individuals must learn to recognize, confront and disidentify from the many inner critic processes that tumble them back in emotional time to the awful feelings of overwhelming fear, self-hate, hopelessness and self-disgust that were part and parcel of their original childhood abandonment.”
― Pete Walker

tags: abandonment, abuse-survivors, complex-ptsd, flashbacks, healing-insights, imperfection, perfectionism, self-criticism, self-disgust, self-hate, shame, survivors

36 likes

#12

“Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.”
― Pete Walker

tags: abandonment, abusive-parents, child-abuse, child-neglect, conduct-disorder, defense-mechanism, dissociation, dissociative-disorder, dissociative-identity-disorder, emotional-abuse, emotionally-unavailable, mental-health, mental-illness, perfectionism, powerlessness, psychological-abuse, punishment, self-control, survivors, survivors-of-abuse

174 likes

#13

“how stupid to abandon something I loved because someone I loved abandoned me.”
― Morgan Rhodes, A Book of Spirits and Thieves

tags: abandonment, crystal-hatcher, love

9 likes

#14

“For years I had a fantasy of a happy-ever-after ending. The first night I spent at the university my fantasy ended, because I thought a happy-ever-after was pointless. Because with my father I didn't want to hope for a happy ending but to have had a happy beginning. I wanted to have been looked after by Daddy in childhood, not finding resolution with my father as an adult.”
― Rosamund Lupton, Sister

tags: abandonment, childhood, divorce, father, happy-endings

4 likes

#15

“Envy is the desire to have what someone else has. Jealousy is the fear of losing what you have. The more insecure you are about yourself or your relationship, the more jealous you are, because you are afraid to lose your significant other to someone else.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends

tags: abandonment, envy, fear-of-abandonment, insecurity, jealousy, relationships

22 likes

#16

“When basic human needs are ignored, rejected, or invalidated by those in roles and positions to appropriately meet them; when the means by which these needs have been previously met are no longer available: and when prior abuse has already left one vulnerable for being exploited further, the stage is set for the possibility these needs will be prostituted. This situation places a survivor who has unmet needs in an incredible dilemma. She can either do without or seek the satisfaction of mobilized needs through some "illegitimate" source that leaves her increasingly divided from herself and ostracized from others.

While meeting needs in this way resolves the immediate existential experience of deprivation and abandonment. it produces numerous other difﬁculties. These include experiencing oneself as “bad” or "weak" for having such strong needs; experiencing shame and guilt for relying on “illegitimate” sources of satisfaction: experiencing a loss of self-respect for indulging in activities contrary to personal moral standards of conduct; risking the displeasure and misunderstanding of others important to her; and opening oneself to the continued abuse and victimization of perpetrators who are all too willing to selﬁshly use others for their own pleasure and purposes under the guise of being 'helpful.”
― J. Jeffrey Means

tags: abandoned, abandonment, abuse, abuse-of-authority, abuse-of-power, basic-needs, child-abuse, deprivation, deprived, emotional-abuse, emotional-neglect, evil, exploit, exploitation, guilt, guilty-conscience, humanity, invalidation, manipulation, needs, neglect, ostracism, prostitution, shame, survivor, victim, victimization, vulnerability, weakness

46 likes

#17

“Write like no one is reading.”
― Crystal Woods, Write like no one is reading

tags: abandonment, crazy, freedom, indie-writing, life, reading, wild, writing

20 likes

#18

“Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. By this time, they should have mastered the following tasks:

1. The ability to be emotionally attached to others, yet without giving up a sense of self and one‘s freedom to be apart,

2. The ability to say appropriate no's to others without fear of loss of love,

3. The ability to take appropriate no's from others without withdrawing emotionally.

Noting these tasks, a friend said half-joking, "They need to learn this by age three? How about by fourty-three?" Yes, these are tall orders but boundary development is essential in the early years of life.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

tags: abandonment, attachment, boundaries, child-development, mental-illness, patenting, psychology, security-blanket

26 likes

#19

“The sun loved me again when it saw that the stars would not abandon me.”
― Jenim Dibie, The Calligraphy of God: A Collection of Love Poems

tags: abandoned, abandonment, books, life, loneliness, love, poetry, stars, sun

22 likes

#20

“May it not be that he loves chaos and destruction (there can be no disputing that he does sometimes love it) because he is instinctively afraid of attaining his object and completing the edifice he is constructing? Who knows, perhaps he only loves that edifice from a distance, and is by no means in love with it at close quarters; perhaps he only loves building it and does not want to live in it, but will leave it, when completed...”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground, White Nights, The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, and Selections from The House of the Dead

tags: abandonment, attainment, chaos, destruction, goals, human-nature, reaching-your-goals, success

17 likes

#21

“Now, we all have stories of how we got here, and prob-probably some of you feel angry who whoever it is who's left you here. But you must try and remember that they were like that because that's how they were taught to be. You m-must try to forgive them. Baby cuckoos can't unlearn their bad habits. But we should try to, and because what you learn as a ch-child you will pass on to people around you, from now on this house is going to be a house of happiness. From this evening on every single one of us is going to consider other people's feelings.”
― Georgia Byng

tags: abandonment, behavior, breaking-cycles, changing-habits, emotions, feelings, forgiveness, grace

2 likes

#22

“And so the spirits just gazed at us with eyes milked dry of care.”
― NoViolet Bulawayo, We Need New Names

tags: abandonment, african-literature, caring, spirits

1 likes

#23

“Remember when you discovered your father owned a book called "How To Disappear and Never Be Found?" You're sure it was just research for new and creative ways of thinking, for concepts that might apply to his work, but it raised the distinct possibility that there is something very upsetting that people you love could do instead of dying.”
― Lena Dunham, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned"

tags: abandonment, family-relationships

1 likes

#24

“Some people tend to throw your love to the dogs when you become totally submissive to them, but when you want to get out of the heat, they pull you back into the kitchen.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

57 likes

#25

“Do not conform to seek the seekers, but leave the leavers. Wisdom comes from facing what you do not yet understand.”
― Shannon L. Alder

tags: abandonment, apostates, compassion, evolution, freedom, happiness, harmony, inactive, joy, life, love, loving-one-another, nonconformity, peace, perfection, positive, seekers, speculation, stayingpositiveu-com, unity

27 likes

#26

“And what if---what are you if the people who are supposed to love you can leave you like you're nothing?”
― Elizabeth Scott, The Unwritten Rule

tags: abandonment, family, love

82 likes

#27

“The introduction to horrors so young impressed on me just how helpless and vulnerable I was. Parents are supposed to empower their children to live without them but in my family, I wasn’t given permission to be my own person. I thought I needed them to live and then they abandoned me. It’s no wonder I felt so unempowered well into my adult years.”
― Christina Enevoldsen

tags: abandonment, child-abuse, child-sexual-abuse, dependent, horror, independence, power, unempowered

18 likes

#28

“Abandonment doesn't have the sharp but dissipating sting of a slap. It's like a punch to the gut, bruising your skin and driving the precious air from your body.”
― Tayari Jones, Silver Sparrow

tags: abandonment

36 likes

#29

“Last night, I realized that it is possible for love to die in an instant. It felt sickening to lie with you in the same bed and have your arms wrapped tightly around me. It no longer felt right.”
― Christine Celis, Snippets of Imagery

tags: abandonment, hurt, love, sadness

5 likes

#30

“We were kids without fathers, so we found our fathers on wax and on the streets and in history, and in a way, that was a gift. We got to pick and choose the ancestors who would inspire the world we were going to make for ourselves.”
― Jay-Z, Decoded

tags: abandonment, ancestry, art, fathers, inspiration

30 likes

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