Emotionally Unavailable Quotes

“Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.”
― Pete Walker

“Nim handed me a mug of tea. I took a sip and it was just how I like it, strong and sweet. If you added psychotic and emotionally unavailable to that, it would also cover my taste in women.”
― Alexis Hall, Shadows & Dreams

“The narcissistic mother cannot give her child unconditional love. She’s not capable of being self-less, devoted, warm, mature, or attentive to you. Instead, everything is about her. Life revolves around meeting her unrealistic, immature needs. She expects your undivided attention. Your admiration. Your praises. Your loyalty to her. She demands you to meet her needs no matter how ridiculous they can be.”
― Dana Arcuri, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Soul Rescue: How to Break Free From Narcissistic Abuse & Heal Trauma

“aren’t you tired
of needing things
from those who are incapable
of providing the things you need”
― R.H. Sin, Algedonic

“Her superpower was picking emotionally unavailable partners and she doubted she'd get a better offer”
― Helen Oyeyemi, What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours

“That’s why I am emotionally bankrupt these days – any love I had left for her is spent.”
― Alice Feeney, Rock Paper Scissors

“He'd missed something early in his life. As a child, instead of love, he'd been focused on survival. Love had been a luxury. While he missed his mother dearly, she'd never taught him how to love. He didn't need scores of therapists to point that out. How could he possibly describe his formative years to Ivy? ....
He never wanted anyone's pity again, so he just shut them away. But in shutting them away, they had taken a part of himself with them. Somewhere, a portion of Christopher tended these bad memories, like a gardener. He knew she had terrible memories of her own mother, but she didn't let them define her. This was the line between him and Ivy. Perhaps that was why he knew that after seeing L'Etrange Lune, he was headed farther down the path, not away.
"You deserve better than me," he said, believing it now more than ever...
"I love you," she said. It came out more of a plea. "But I'm so tired of it being one-sided."
What came next, he needed to do. For her. She needed to go forward and embrace her new life fully and let him go. He inhaled. "This is hard for me to say, Ivy. But I don't love you. Not in the way you want, and not in the way that matters. Everything you just said is true." ...
And as he watched her walk away, he knew he'd lost something, something he never deserved to have.”
― Constance Sayers, The Star and the Strange Moon