Narcissistic Abuse Quotes

“Realize that narcissists have an addiction disorder. They are strongly addicted to feeling significant. Like any addict they will do whatever it takes to get this feeling often. That is why they are manipulative and future fakers. They promise change, but can't deliver if it interferes with their addiction. That is why they secure back up supply.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“No child can be good enough to evoke love from a highly self-involved parent. Nevertheless, these children come to believe that the price of making a connection is to put other people first and treat them as more important. They think they can keep relationships by being the giver. Children who try to be good enough to win their parents’ love have no way of knowing that unconditional love cannot be bought with conditional behavior.”
― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

“In the narcissist's world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.

Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…

They are aware of what they are doing to others - but they do not care.”
― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

“But both the narcissist and his partner do not really consider each other. Trapped in the moves of an all-consuming dance macabre, they follow the motions morbidly - semiconscious, desensitized, exhausted, and concerned only with survival.”
― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

“But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.”
― Ellie Fox, And then the Devil Cried: Episode Two

“those who get upset for being treated the way that they treat others, will never understand why others treat them the way that they treat others.”
― David J. Martinez

“Emotional abuse is designed to undermine another's sense of self.
It is deliberate humiliation, with the intent to seize control of how others feel about themselves.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Emotional abuse can leave a victim feeling like a shell of a person, separated from the true essence of who they naturally are. It also leads to a victim feeling tormented and tortured by their own emotions.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Narcissistic cathexis of the child by the mother does not exclude emotional devotion. On the contrary, she loves the child as her self-object, excessively, though not in the manner that he needs, and always on the condition that he presents his "false self." This is no obstacle to the development of intellectual abilities, but it is one to the unfolding of an authentic emotional life.”
― Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

“Narcissists are very retaliative if they believe another has achieved what they desire,
exposed their insecurities, or refused to be under their control.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Healing is like an onion. As you process through one layer of trauma to release the pain and heal, a new layer will surface. One layer after another layer will bring up new issues to focus on. Pace yourself. Only focus on one layer at a time.”
― Dana Arcuri, Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma

“Stop trying to get validation from people who can't or won't acknowledge your feelings. This reflects their inability to empathize. It's a failure on their part and has nothing to do with you.”
― Jacqueline Simon Gunn

“No one wants to depend on people who brag about their help. It is hurtful.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“Many survivors of a narcissist discover that they’ve sacrificed so much in an attempt to please the narcissist that they’ve lost sight of who they are. Rediscovering oneself involves reclaiming things once loved, be it passions, friendships, or even jobs. It’s about finding that one thing you used to enjoy and taking it back. Reconnect with your inner child, play, and reintroduce yourself to the joys that make you uniquely you.”
― Tracy Malone

“Narcissistic caregivers are along a continuum: On one end they can be abusive and punitive; they create restrictive environments and excessive expectations of accomplishing or performing to make them look good.”
― Annie Tanasugarn, PhD

“Nancy was as proud as she was critical of her younger daughter. She spoke glowingly about the precocious little girl who said her first sentence at seven months and walked at ten months.”
― Joan Frances Casey, The Flock: The Autobiography of a Multiple Personality

“Healthy families are sustained by honesty; unsafe systems are threatened by it.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis

“Daniel de Llano’s The Sparkle Trap is a no-holds-barred look at queer relationships and the struggles of relational narcissism. He brings clarity to a topic many of us may not have the words for, and does so in an interactive way. Blending storytelling with practical guidance, The Sparkle Trap shines a light on toxic narcissistic dynamics and leaves you with the tools to move forward and put your needs first. This is a must-read for the queer community.
—Larry Smiglewski, Marriage and Family Therapist, @TherapyWithLarry”
― Daniel de Llano, The Sparkle Trap: Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse in LGBTQ+ Love

“You can place accountability onto the Generational Dysfunctional Family System that conditioned you AND still accept responsibility for continuing the Generational Dysfunctional Family System.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis

“THE SPARKLE TRAP by Daniel De Llano focuses on dealing with a narcissist, offering tools to help heal wounds and leading readers down a path where they “number one on their own VIP list.” Even though this book was meant for the LGBTQ+ community, everyone can benefit and relate to the stories presented and the valuable wisdom offered. De Llano presents a roadmap for healing, empowerment, and taking one’s life back. — Indie Reader”
― Indie Reader

“There is a profound detachment from reality in expecting someone to recover from harm while simultaneously refusing them the right to acknowledge its origin.

Healing is, by definition, investigative. It requires tracing cause to effect, experience to impact, injury to source. When individuals protest this process, what they are often resisting is not injustice, but attribution.

If the path toward restoration reveals them as the central contributor to the damage, the discomfort they feel is not persecution — it is proximity to accountability.

One cannot demand anonymity after leaving fingerprints.”
― Niedria Kenny, Order in the Courtroom: The Tale of a Texas Poker Player

“We’re coming for you Dr. Jekyll. You can no longer Hyde.”
― Niedria Kenny, Order in the Courtroom: The Tale of a Texas Poker Player

“You did not lose your voice overnight.
It happened one conversation at a time until apologizing became easier than explaining yourself.”
― Sharelle Ellis

“An abusive relationship typically includes choices in partners who have histories of destructive and narcissistic behavior, and who commonly struggle with their own mental health or addictions, leaving you at risk for continuing a caregiver role. Abusive and trauma-bonded relationships are characterized by intense highs and lows, severe enmeshment, loss of identity, coercive control, and cycles of abuse and manipulation, followed by intermittent calm.”
― Annie Tanasugarn

“Any child of narcissists, addicts, or rage junkies is an expert at de-escalation.”
― Lauren Hough, Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing

“If you are more avoidantly attached, emotional intimacy is often seen as something you simultaneously want but fear. Many who are more avoidantly attached are drawn to the intensity and newness of the early stages of a relationship. Yet, they often start pumping the brakes when the relationship becomes more emotionally intimate.”
― Annie Tanasugarn, PhD, The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Overcome the Push and Pull of Different Attachment Styles in Your Relationship and Build Lasting Connection

“Legacy for my daughter matters more than competition, one-upping, or trying to make someone look bad. These pages exist for the long-term endurance of this narrative, so she can see another perspective and a bigger picture, whether I am here or gone.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current: Clarity over comfort. Transparency over secrecy. Structure over spin. Love over anger.

“Moments documented include not only personal experiences but also efforts made toward truth, accountability, and peace. These steps were taken so my daughter is not left holding only half the story.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current

“Deflection became her signature move, redirecting inquiries about herself back to me or focusing solely on the present moment, as if the past didn't exist.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current: Clarity over comfort. Transparency over secrecy. Structure over spin. Love over anger.

“Swinging from attack and deflection to complete self-blame eradicates any chance for resolution or understanding.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current: Clarity over comfort. Transparency over secrecy. Structure over spin. Love over anger.