Tony Smith > Tony's Quotes

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#2

“We read to know we're not alone.”
― William Nicholson, Shadowlands: A Play

tags: misattributed-to-c-s-lewis, reading

26979 likes

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#3

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

tags: books, dragons, fairy-tales, inspirational, paraphrasing-g-k-chesterton

45231 likes

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#4

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

tags: love

24526 likes

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#4

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

tags: lies, lying, trust

31654 likes

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#5

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
― Dr. Seuss

tags: attributed-no-source

28150 likes

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#7

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
― Pat Monahan

tags: humor, immature, young

2644 likes

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#8

“When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. ”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

tags: humor

389 likes

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#9

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
― Dave Barry

tags: babies, humor, men, pregnancy

477 likes

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#10

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.”
― Dave Barry

tags: business, humor, meetings, work

539 likes

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#11

“I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'

This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Does Japan

tags: buddhism, buddhists, humor, japanese, japanese-religion, junio, moral, obsession, pat-robertson, preachiness, reincarnation, religious-people, reverend, sense, temples, united-states

406 likes

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#11

“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
― Colleen Hoover, Point of Retreat

tags: humor, humour

427 likes

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#12

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
― Dave Barry

tags: funny, humour, jokes

543 likes

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#13

“Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.”
― Dave Barry

tags: chocolate

403 likes

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#14

“The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter.”
― Dave Barry

tags: football, humor, ice-fishing, ice-skating, skiing, snow-camping, snowboarding, sports

280 likes

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#15

“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
― Dave Barry

tags: dieting, humor

198 likes

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#16

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”
― Dave Barry

333 likes

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#17

“Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.”
― Dave Barry

tags: humor, plumbers, time

213 likes

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#18

“No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.”
― Dave Barry

tags: caprice, levity, solemnity

265 likes

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#19

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
― Dave Barry

tags: bark, dogs, feel

330 likes

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#20

“Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'
Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?
Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?”
― Dave Barry

tags: humor

182 likes

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#21

“Reading... a vacation for the mind....”
― Dave Barry

tags: reading

251 likes

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#22

“People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.”
― Dave Barry

170 likes

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#23

“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. ”
― Dave Barry

tags: gravity, humor

138 likes

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#24

“I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.”
― Dave Barry

tags: humor, marriage, shakespeare

213 likes

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#25

“As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.”
― Dave Barry

tags: aging, humor, marriage

165 likes

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#26

“Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. ”
― Dave Barry

tags: dance

278 likes

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#27

“Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? ”
― Dave Barry

tags: humor, sports

143 likes

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#28

“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. ”
― Dave Barry

tags: camping, humor

122 likes

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#29

“You should not confuse your career with your life.”
― Dave Barry

tags: profession, work

209 likes

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#41

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

601 likes

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misattributed-to-c-s-lewis
reading
books
dragons
fairy-tales
inspirational
paraphrasing-g-k-chesterton
love
lies
lying
trust
attributed-no-source
humor
immature
young
babies
men
pregnancy
business
meetings
work
buddhism
buddhists
japanese
japanese-religion
junio
moral
obsession
pat-robertson
preachiness
reincarnation
religious-people
reverend
sense
temples
united-states
humour
funny
jokes
chocolate
football
ice-fishing
ice-skating
skiing
snow-camping
snowboarding
sports
dieting
plumbers
time
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levity
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feel
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shakespeare
aging
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