Airport Security Quotes

“By any rights, he should be dead. He was involved in an explosion with a bomb, which he happened to be carrying at the time. Conrad is something of a scientific miracle. There are more than thirty metal pins in his body. He has a metal plate in his skull. There are metal wires in his jaw and in most of his major joints."
"He must set off a lot of airport alarms," Alex muttered.”
― Anthony Horowitz, Skeleton Key

“Seconds later, the female security officer grabbed a pair of my father's shorts from the top of the duffel bag, and emptied out the contents of his pockets. A lighter, three nail files, a pocket wrench, a pair of pliers, a screwdriver, and a nectarine fell onto the folding table. I looked at the woman, looked at my father, and then looked around to see if anyone else was watching.

"What's the problem?" my father asked the woman.

"Sir, I'm going to have to take this lighter away from you," she said.

"The lighter?" I asked her. "What about the bomb kit he's carrying around? He could do a lot more damage to a person with that wrench."

"I need the wrench!" he shrieked.

"For what?"

"What if something goes wrong with the plane?”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“Or the woman in front of me in the security line who asked if they would put her cat, Dave, through the luggage X-ray machine because she wanted to see if he'd eaten a necklace.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“Wasn't Atlanta the murder capital of the U.S. last year?" "Yes, but the airport's perfectly safe.”
― Pat Conroy, Beach Music

“Many people claim to have bags of knowledge in life. However, they do not use it; except at the airport.”
― Alan Maiccon

“An airport is a place where you go through hell to reach your alleged paradise.”
― Stewart Stafford

“You can sneak a prohibited item through airport security easier than you think.”
― Kirk Voclain, Double Exposure: A Spy Thriller

“...Section: 3. Page: 16. Code: 105-B...”
― Kirk Voclain, Double Exposure: A Spy Thriller