Tsa Quotes

“The TSA must think we're mushrooms. You know, the way they are trying to keep us in the dark, and the way they keep feeding us a fertilizing agent that comes from the south end of a north-bound cow.”
― Douglas Wilson

“Or the woman in front of me in the security line who asked if they would put her cat, Dave, through the luggage X-ray machine because she wanted to see if he'd eaten a necklace.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!"

Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area.

"What's the problem here?" the man behind the desk asks the TSA officer.

"She's harassing me, and I feel that I'm being discriminated against because of my intelligence level," I say.

The man looks at me. "What?"

"This woman attempted to engage me in idiotic conversation and I'm psychologically incapable of reacting in a positive way to such foolishness and we had an altercation after she threatened to throw away my ChapStick.”
― Stephanie McAfee, Down and Out in Bugtussle: The Mad Fat Road to Happiness

“Go to any airport in this country and you’ll see how well our government is dealing with the terrible danger you’re in. TSA staffers are wanding 90-year-old ladies in wheelchairs, and burrowing through their suitcases. Toddlers are on the no-fly list. Lipsticks are confiscated. And it’s all done with the highest seriousness. It’s a show of protection and it stirs the fear pot, giving us over and over an image of being in grave personal peril, needing Big Brother to make sure we’re safe.”
― Ann Medlock

“he TSA must think we're mushrooms. You know, the way they are trying to keep us in the dark, and the way they keep feeding us a fertilizing agent that comes from the south end of a north-bound cow.”
― Doug Wilson

“Approximately half the airport passengers in the TSA gate area have no airline tickets because their airplanes have landed and their tickets have expired. Do you see the police officers harassing them out of the gate area because they are no longer ticketed passengers?”
― Steven Magee

“Traveling through airports with white powders may get you flagged by TSA as a potential drugs dealer!”
― Steven Magee

“Going through international airport security with two prosthetic legs and a steel plate in your head isn't exactly a piece of cake, but it's easier than going through with a turban.”
― Mishell Baker, Phantom Pains