Dog Humor Quotes

“I'm convinced that petting a puppy is good luck.”
― Meg Donohue, Dog Crazy

“Being a hero to someone, even if it is a dog, is a feeling like no other. Though it can be frustrating, it can be the most rewarding thing to give someone a second chance at a happy life.”
― Elizabeth Parker, Finally Home: Lessons on Life from a Free-Spirited Dog (The Buddy Books)

“What does the kidnapper do with those things?"
"Those things?"
"You know, the stinky things with four legs that make a lot of noise."

Did she mean the dogs?”
― Otsuichi, Goth

“JJ informed me, when he dropped them off, that they are French bulldogs, which has led med to reassess my opinion of the French. They may know a lot about making wine and fries, but they don't know jacques-merde about making dogs.”
― Melissa DeCarlo, The Art of Crash Landing

“Terriers usually have their own agenda, kind of like cats, only with a lot more pointless animation. - Sydney Linden”
― S.J. Hunter

“Get rid of the dog! Tick Tock!”
― Nishta Kochar, Cinnamon Bizarre : Collection of Short Stories

“Do you think Bubbles wants Chinese food
because it's made out of cats?" Genevieve questioned, shoveling a big bite into her mouth.

"Genevieve, that's just gross and wrong. Don't say things like that. Bubbles is a dog, and their stomachs are bottomless pits. They'll eat anything and
everything in sight."

Genevieve quickly swallowed. "Well, Bobby said in China they eat cats."

"Gen, I assure you, we.are.not eating cats," I responded slowly trying to make sure another food wasn't crossed off her 'will eat' list. It was ever growing shorter.

"All lies!" Genevieve proclaimed, sticking her fork high in the air with a piece of chicken, only to have it fall, never touching the floor. "See? Cat!”
― Ottilie Weber, Beneath the Scars

“Temptation is to romance what the humping canine is to everlasting love.”
― Stewart Stafford

“So, a word of warning." She slid her key in to the deadbolt. "Anchovy thinks he's a lap dog and that personal boundaries are a myth.”
― Avery Flynn, Parental Guidance

“This book has been so much fun to write, I have loved getting to know my animal characters even better!

This is a festival not to be missed its brimming with lots of doggy and cat fun

My favourite game is the grooviest shaker competition what will yours be?”
― christine skippins

“A MERRIE JEST of Master William Shakespeare and his DOGGE SPOT
by Stewart Stafford

ACT I, SCENE I.

[The Bard sets his quill down and rises. Enter Spot.]

[SHAKESPEARE]
“Out, out, damned Spot, I say!”
[The dogge doth not stir.]

[SHAKESPEARE]
“Zounds! How sharper than a hound’s tooth it is to have a disobedient dogge!”
[Anne Hathaway opens the door. Spot trots forth.]

[SHAKESPEARE]
“Thou art in cur-llusion, woman!”
[Anne scoffs.]

[ANNE]
“Beware of pawing jealousy, Master Shakespeare. 'Tis the biting flea that mocks the mangey mongrel it feeds upon. Now Spot hath gone afield, thou mayst perambulate him through Stratford, sir!”

[SHAKESPEARE]
“I shall, wife, and get to the bottom of this plot, methinks.”

[Exeunt]

© 2026 Stewart Stafford. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford