Family Dysfunction Quotes

“You know the definition of a dysfunctional family, don't you? It's any family with more than one member in it.”
― Sarah Pekkanen, The Opposite of Me

“When I behold other people, who are of course the children of some family or other, and think of my own children, and of myself...I am astonished at how sensible, well-behaved, practical, courteous, and predictable these other children are. The other children are so easy about the whole business of being who they are, being in the world, and getting along. Whereas with us it is an awful fight, all the way.

I am left with the conclusion that we are quite probably crazy, but somehow not in a way that compels commitment. We get over our rampages before society or clinical insanity charges in on us. I can think of very few of us who are not nuts. And that's not at our worst, that's pretty much as we always are. We find fault with everything. The world stinks, and even long after we have reconciled ourselves to that truth, we still regret it, and now and then even rage against it. Running through the various branches of the family I fail to find one branch which might be said to be nice- ordinary, sober, adjusted, willing, courteous, undemanding, charming, practical, predictable, and all of the other things nice people are. Lunacy runs straight down the middle of every branch of my family. We have nobody who is not some kind of nut. What did it? How did it happen? Well, there's no answer, of course.”
― William Saroyan, Days Of Life And Death And Escape To The Moon

“You didn't wind up on a pole without a lot of help from your family.”
― Lisa Unger, Die for You

“Many psychologists use the term existential to describe the fact that all human beings are subject to painful events. These are the normal recurring afflictions that everyone suffers from time to time. Horrible world events, difficult choices, illnesses and periodic feelings go abject loneliness are common examples of existential pain. Existential calamities can be especially triggering for survivors, because we typically have so much family-of-origin calamity for them to trigger us into reliving.”
― Pete Walker , Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

“Isms’ are described as transference of addictive patterns of dysfunctional behaviour, passed down from generation to generation. For instance, if a mother was an alcoholic who never made it into recovery, her behaviour would leave a mark on her children, husband, etc. Unless her adult children join some sort of recovery programme and adopt the mindfulness practice, they will have very similar behaviour traits to their mother but minus the alcohol abuse. There is a strong possibility that they will become codependent and form relationships with other codependents or alcoholics.”
― Christopher Dines, The Kindness Habit: Transforming our Relationship to Addictive Behaviours

“Instead, incest occurs in families where there is a great deal of emotional isolation, secrecy, neediness, stress, and lack of respect. In many ways incest can be viewed as part of a total family breakdown. But it is the aggressor and the aggressor alone who commits the sexual violence.”
― Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

“Her family was at least as dysfunctional and peculiar as his own, riven with scenes that to other people might've been epoch defining—'it was a month before Daddy torched Mummy's portrait in the hall, and the paneling caught fire, and the fire brigade came, and we all had to be evacuated via the upstairs windows'—but to the Campbells were so normalized they seemed routine.”
― Robert Galbraith, Troubled Blood

“Sabrina Thomas clutched the leather-bound notebook to her chest and tried not to be impatient as the elevator in the south tower of Texas Hospital near downtown Dallas stopped once again on its climb to the eighteenth and top floor. But it was difficult.
Dr. Cade Mathis, the bane of her existence, would reach Mrs. Ward’s room first and then there’d be hell to pay. Sabrina jabbed the button to close the doors as soon as the last person stepped onto the already crowded elevator.”
― Francis Ray When Morning Comes

“A theatrical spectacle is inherent whenever family members congregate and reacquaint themselves with powerful universal themes educed from homecomings including hugs, food, drink, conversation, politics, games, music, conflict, terror, mercy, smiles, tears, prayers, misfortune, and self-discovery.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“[Ye Qiu] left." Chen Guo said to Ye Xiu.
"I know. I heard." Ye Xiu responded.
"Then why didn't you respond."
"I did. My heart almost broke." Ye Xiu said.”
― Blue Butterfly, The King's Avatar

“She couldn’t allow him to chip away at her secrets, taking a piece of her with each new revelation until there was nothing left of the fortress she’d built.”
― Nicole Warren, Cold November Rain

“A writer is not what one does, but what one is. It is a compulsion, a need, a gift. It is part of one's psyche when all those thoughts that circle and swirl in the middle of the night clamor for attention as your mind opens to the universe.”
― Ann P. Bennett-Cookson, Secrets: A Story of Addiction, Grief & Healing

“Perhaps if we parented our children in the manner we wished to be parented when we were kids, the world would be less neurotic. But what people tend to do is to replicate their parents' harsh discipline or the society's skewed behaviours. This cycle negatively affects the development of children, and it continues in each generation.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“Not a single family finds itself exempt from that one haunted casualty who suffered irreparable damage in the crucible they entered at birth. Where some children can emerge from conditions of soul-killing abuse and manage to make their lives into something of worth and value, others can’t limp away from the hurts and gleanings time decanted for them in flawed beakers of memory. … There is one crazy that belongs to each of
us: the brother who kills the spirit of any room he enters; the sister who’s a drug addict in her teens and marries a series of psychopaths, always making sure she bears their children, who carry their genes of madness to the grave. There’s the neurotic mother who’s so demanding that the sound of her voice over the phone can cause instant nausea in her daughters…. Talk to me all you want about happy families, but let me loose at a wedding or a funeral and I’ll bring you back the family crazy.”
― Pat Conroy, The Death of Santini: The Story of a Father and His Son

“My dead father isn't talking to me. That he doesn't talk to me is odd, since every other spirit talks to me, they all do. But for some reason he's reticent, dumb, mute. No thoughts, no words, no sudden appearances to guide me, to give me direction or inspiration in my life and ways, good or bad. No words to explain why he was the asshole he was during his life, unavailable to me.
He's fucking silent. Still." -- From "Spirits in the Night," included in Mitchell Waldman's forthcoming short story collection, BROTHERS, FATHERS, AND OTHER STRANGERS.”
― Mitchell Waldman

“For some, freedom is best left for the imagination,”
― Norah Marler, PROOF: The Story of Violet Lemon

“We need to engage with the family for deeper insight into the dysfunctions and dynamics that led to a decision to make permanent body changes with surgery. Taking the easy route of writing a prescription for testosterone after one or two short visits, instead of careful evaluation and exploration, is woefully inadequate.”
― Lisa Shultz, The Trans Train: A Parent's Perspective on Transgender Medicalization and Ideology

“To be saved,” whispered Mama. The words left her mouth like a wish. At that moment I didn’t know why Mama wanted to be saved. She looked peaceful, tangled in her flower-printed sheets.
She closed her eyes again, and I leaned close. “I’ll save you Mama,” I whispered into her ear.”
― Valerie Dunsmore, Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit