Family Feud Quotes

“Ahem! Ahem!” As I recalled, Aunt Kathy loved Uncle Dan so much, she went grocery shopping during his funeral and failed to attend his burial as well. Apparently, Ham Hocks, Collard greens, Chitlin, Fatback, and Hog-Head cheesetook higher priority over his Last Rites. Then the reverend proceeded cautiously as he introduced my mom. “Let metell y’all about my Ms. Liza. Sister Kathy kept this one close.”
“Ahem! Ahem! Ar-choo! Ahem!”
Shockingly, there was a lightening blast that rocked the building once again while dimming the lights for more than 10seconds. The crowd turned restless, took a deep breath, and then allowed Pastor Keith to resume. “I’m gonna tell y’all, they were two kernels on a cob. When you saw Sister Kathy, you saw Sister Liza.
“Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!”
“The two of them raised those boys from seeds to bean stalks. We helped nourish them right here in Zion Gate Union. Now they’re just ripe for the harvest. I hope some of you ladies can take a

hint!” For a brief moment, modest laughter filled the church. Yet, it was needed because Pastor Keith had gone into uncharted waters. No one dared to challenge my mom. Yet, Pastor Keith was speaking glowingly about her. Only a fewwanted to see where the Reverend was going. But most didn’t care to re-open that door. Church members were so afraid of Mom, no one dared to call her by name. All parishioners would go mute and head the other way, or simply hit the exits just to avoid all encounters.”
― Harold Phifer, My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift

“Beware he whose reputation is burnished bright, oft times the darkness is hidden by the polished light.”
― Robert Reid, The Empress:

“Well, that was certainly a disgusting display worthy of your father's family."
"Shut up, Ma," Lisa Livia said, her hands on her hips. "Like you weren't born in the Bronx, and the Fortunatos weren't a big step up for you. Now you listen to me. You try to move this wedding away from Two Rivers again, I'm gonna clean every skeleton out of every closet you got and make them dance, you hear me? I'll dig up everything you ever buried, including my daddy, and then I'll sink that beat-up rowboat you're living on so you'll be out in the street with nothing. Do not fuck with my kid and do not fuck with my friend, they are all the family I got, and they are off-limits to you. Understand?”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“Please go home with me and stay forever. I will hide you in my closet and take you out at night, and I promise to be gentle," he said between kisses.”
― Carolyn Brown, A Cowboy Christmas Miracle

“You, Declan, are sexy as hell."
He leaned in and kissed the top of her breasts. "And how sexy is that?"
"Think of the heat down there in hell. You are seven times hotter than that.”
― Carolyn Brown, A Cowboy Christmas Miracle

“With zero hesitation, I tease her mouth open and slide in. She meets me in the middle, our tongues tangling, and every nerve ending in my body’s firing now. Her hands find the back of my neck, run through my close-cropped hair as I press her to me.

It’s been a very long time since I had this kind of connection with a woman.

I need her. Need to know what she feels like against me, on me, under me.

I need her more than I need oxygen right now.

I don’t think I can wait another second without knowing.”
― Kara Kendrick

“Now, I guess, the front lines are just me and 280 characters on a phone screen.”
― Emma Lord, Tweet Cute

“So sometime after dinner, when your grandma had cornered me to ask how everything was back in Hobson--- she wanted to know if the movie theater on Dunning was still there--- I told her, 'That pharmacy where you accused my mom of shoplifting is still there, how about that?' That wiped the smile off her face real quick.”
― Shauna Robinson, The Townsend Family Recipe for Disaster