Identity Theft Quotes

“My bank must stop trying to sell me identity theft protection. You know why I expect you to protect my money? Because you're a bank.”
― Bill Maher, The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Identity is theft, don’t trust anyone whose state vector hasn’t forked for more than a gigasecond, change is the only constant, et bloody cetera.”
― Charles Stross, Accelerando

“If I had to make a conjecture on the matter, I would guess lying is very likely less difficult when it is done over the telephone. It is interesting to me how technology has in many ways facilitated and refined the practice of deception.”
― Suzanne Rindell, The Other Typist

“Now, I'm not claiming to have won any intelligence contests lately. I say lately because the last time I actually entered an intelligence contest was like seven years ago. It was pretty easy to sign up. I just had to send this guy two thousand dollars and answer some pretty tough questions from memory. They were mainly about my family history and some of my personal information--- stuff like my social security number and whatnot. I don't like to brag, but I aced it. The guy even sent me a framed certificate that now proudly hangs in the new office I built after we declared bankruptcy due to some random identity theft.
You think a fifth grader could do all that? I doubt it. Who are smarter now?”
― Tim Hawkins