Neil Leckman Quotes

“Sitting in front of my fireplace, basking in it's warm glow gives me time to reflect upon the sacrifices that it has taken for me to enjoy the security of a good home, in a safe environment. I can hear the soft whisper of the snow as it caresses my window and covers the ground outside in a scintillating display of sparkling lights under the full moon. How many times have our service men and women watched this same scene from a foxhole, or camped in some remote part of the world. Thankful for the silence of that moment, knowing it won’t last long. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He/she dresses in fatigues and patrols the world restlessly, ensuring that we can have this peaceful night. Every day they give us the gift of this lifestyle that we enjoy, and every night they watch over us. They are warriors, angels, guardians, friends, brothers, fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers, forming a family that stretches back to the beginning of the country. So tonight when you go to bed say a prayer that God watch over those who watch over us, and thank them for their sacrifices, on and off the battlefield. Pray that they have a peaceful night, and will be home soon with their families who also share their burden. Without them we would not have this moment.”
― Neil Leckman

“Is it possible to be ticket for going too fast during speed dating?”
― Neil Leckman

“Somebody once told me that I need a reality check, I told them that I'll accept money from any source.”
― Neil Leckman

“How many boxs of Fruit Loops do you need to smash to be considered a cereal killer?”
― Neil Leckman

“If I have a pocket full of rainbows am I an optimist, or a guy with wet pants and really large pockets?”
― Neil Leckman

“I try not to have personal problems, I do that by telling everyone about them!!!”
― Neil Leckman

“Some people like to push my buttons!!! I just wish they would give them back...”
― Neil Leckman

“Pharmacy drive-up window:
"Could I have your address?"
"Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!”
― Neil Leckman

“Sure, ask a question, fire away, but remember, just because we answer doesn't mean we care. We all have our own problems, and mine are down in the cellar kicking up a fuss right now, must not have made the knots tight enough!!!”
― Neil Leckman

“They kept yelling at me to pay attention during school, since education hasn't panned out for me can I get a refund, or at least a rebate?”
― Neil Leckman

“I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!”
― Neil Leckman

“May fireworks fill your heart and independence be your way of life.”
― Neil Leckman

“Why don't they make chocolate horses for Easter with a belly full of gummy bears. Educational and sweet!”
― Neil Leckman

“In the form it asked who to contact in an emergency, so I put 911.”
― Neil Leckman

“Has anyone else noticed that most dreams happen while you're asleep? Makes it a lot harder to remember the details...”
― Neil Leckman

“A tale within a tweet can be sweet!! That's a REAL flash.”
― Neil Leckman

“Flash fiction is like a kiddie's pool for writers.”
― Neil Leckman

“New from Ronco, the Zomb-Matic adjustable dead.

Choose how much of uncle Willy comes back to eat you!!! People like it when they have some control over how quickly they are consumed by guilt, or a dead loved one...”
― Neil Leckman

“Turn your diodes this way and pulse...”
― Neil Leckman

“Just out of sight around a bend in the river there's always a small island full of magic and mystery just waiting for you.”
― Neil Leckman

“Being able to write a tale within a Tweet some would say was mighty sweet”
― Neil Leckman

“I like to check my pulse before I get out of bed. No point getting up if I'm already dead!!”
― Neil Leckman

“I had a million things running through my mind the other day.
Suddenly I realized I didn't know half of them!!”
― Neil Leckman, Wurms

“The other day I was trying to enjoy the sunset of my mind when I realized we were on daylight saving time!!”
― Neil Leckman, Wurms

“I made a candle out of earwax so I could listen better in the dark.”
― Neil Leckman

“If I climb poles at the North pole does that make me a polar poler?”
― Neil Leckman

“Are Pixie sticks made out of cremated Pixies?”
― Neil Leckman

“Malcontents who would dissent to paying rent are often bent on bad intent!!”
― Neil Leckman

“Unwarranted acts of kindness beat many foes!”
― Neil Leckman

“People fear change. I still have $.37 that scares the crap out of me in a pocket of some jeans I shall never wear again!”
― Neil Leckman, Wurms