Not Funny Quotes

“So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?"
Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. "What's true?"
"Alexander," said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon's eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me."
Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. "And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type."
"Hey, now," said Jordan mildly.
Magnus put his head in his hands.
"Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren't into?"
"Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed."
"It's not funny," Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

“Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one through the spine, the weight curving your posture forward, dragging you down to the murky depths of the sea floor. The good news was that you kind of got used to it after a while. Got used to the gasping, brink-of-heart-attack feeling that followed you everywhere. All you had to do was grab one of the prongs that stuck out from the bottom of your sternum, give it a little shake, and say, “Listen, asshole. We’re not dying. We have shit to do.”
― Krystal Sutherland, A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares

“I'm joking," She said to the group. Ah, the joking defense. The tried and true excuse for bullies everywhere.”
― Eileen Cook, The Hanging Girl

“A quote is a quote, bad or not, and mine are especially bad.”
― Aurora

“All right. Let Lady Death get some rest.'

'That's not funny,' Nesta hissed.

Cassian winked, even as the others tensed. 'I think it's catchy.

Nesta glowered.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A ​Court of Silver Flames

“Počkej. To mi chceš naznačit, že došly ředkvičky?”
― Adelle R., Čarodějčina kletba

“Some things and some people are funny the first time, or the first few times, and then they are annoying.”
― @Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“He'd even sent her a random text that morning--- a link to a fanfic story involving them and Willy Wonka's R-rated chocolate factory. He thought it would make her laugh. She'd sent the skull emoji back, so...”
― Erin La Rosa, For Butter or Worse