Ouija Boards Quotes

“You shouldn't believe all the press about Ouija boards. They can't be used in an exorcism. Trivial Pursuit can, but that's another story.”
― Seanan McGuire, Magic for Nothing

“Today the prevailing fad is vitamins, yesterday it was appendicitis operations, Paderewski's minuet, or the ouija board.”
― Harold Bauer, Harold Bauer His Book

“So it's 21 to drink, 18 to smoke, 16 to drive, and 6 to summon demons.”
― Jack Hopkins

“It's fun searching for the supernatural. If the supernatural comes looking for you, it's anything but fun. It's terrifying and disturbing. Keep it out of your life at all costs.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Truth or Care by Stewart Stafford

It's not every day you find out you're going to die,
A sweaty doctor hit me right between the eyes,
With my body's Judas kiss and then I was prey,
Life had left me without any cards to play.

Reading the shocked expression on my face,
The doctor played his "it's treatable" ace,
Treatable is good but curable is better,
Survival hinges on the placement of letters.

Turns out I never had a chance, sadly,
The doctor lied to me and lied badly,
Flop sweat had put truth to the sword,
And I'm writing all this through a ouija board.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“If anyone ever reported my death incorrectly, I'd confirm it was true on Twitter and that I was tweeting through a Ouija board.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Karaoke machines are evil-er than Ouija boards. They just keep coming back!”
― Sarah Morgenthaler, The Tourist Attraction

“Fortune-telling that employs psychokinesis [such as table tilting and ouija boards] is very unreliable. The movements of the table or the apparent accuracy of the messages spelt out on the ouija board can be very convincing. Spiritual forces can work through these techniques [...] but the sitter's inner fears and hopes can influence the 'communication'.”
― Craig Hamilton-Parker, Your Psychic Powers: A Beginner's Guide

“I feel like I’m two drinks away from a ouija board.”
― Daniel Ruczko, Pieces of a Broken Mind