Romance Humor Quotes

“...Oh god. I'm one of those girls."
"What girls?" he asked, perplexed.
"Those girls. The ones in all those books and TV shows. Some dumb high school girl falls in love with some supernatural guy, and he's all, 'Behold, I am five million years old!' and she's all, 'Oh my god, how can you ever love pathetic little me!' and he's like, 'Because of destiny!' or whatever. It's just so...ew. You know?”
― Lindsay Ribar, The Art of Wishing

“what red lips you have," he said in her ear. Did she dare say it? "All the better to kiss you with, my dear," she replied. And then their lips met.”
― Annette Curtis Klause, Blood and Chocolate

“The hours tick by as I lie in bed.
Memories keep surfacing, tormenting me into unbelievable sadness. I can't bring myself to move. I can't fight the memories that keep filling my thoughts. I stay curled in the fetal position as each memory plays out. I can't stop them from coming. I can't make them go away. Nothing can distract me. I can't block the memories, so they continue to come.”
― Ashley Earley, Alone in Paris

“If it feels good, enjoy it. If it doesn’t, adjust your position until it does.”
― Amy Lane, Under the Rushes

“I-"Fuck. "Well, I am angry at you, Nathan."
"Good."
"So fucking angry."
"Perfect.”
― Hannah Grace, Icebreaker

“Were you aware that emotional tears have a higher protein concentration than tears that comes from irritation? I read online that the higher protein content makes them fall down your cheeks more slowly -- increasing the chance they'll be seen by people and attract help. Your body is literally built for community. Tears attract people. So cry away!”
― Kirsty Greenwood, The Love of My Afterlife

“Katherine -I wondered if this was how Dorothy felt when she woke up in Oz with all the little people squawking ding dong, the witch is dead.”
― Lorraine Beaumont

“If you thought to leave me now, I might tie you to the bed again.
Filthy pirate.
Aye, but you love me anyway.”
― Megan Van Dyke, Second Star to the Left

“When my spark goes out
I want you to kiss me with yours.
Even if it’s dampened by the rain
The thought that you’d attempt
Would make romance turn
Over in its grave.
A spark that doesn’t require
The use of a lighter.
My skin this close to yours.
My best friend, my weakness
My worries gone in an instant”
― Kewayne Wadley

“We took the peaches to bed. It is always nice to have someone else to lick the peach juice off your breast.”
― Kerry Greenwood, Forbidden Fruit

“I’m not going anywhere with you and your Mr. Darcy accent.”. . .“Wow, I’ve hit a nerve. Mr. Darcy, huh?” he chimed. “So the hopeless romantic bit is accurate.”
― Brooke Gilbert, The Paris Soulmate

“Two silhouettes blocked out the hard sun. The shapes came into focus as my vision adjusted to the light. One of them revealed itself to be a longboard. The other, the smoking-hot, dripping-wet guy who’d surfed it.”
― Jessica Parra , Rubi Ramos's Recipe for Success

“a damn roach…[that] scuttled around just like Nate; reappearing, existing forever, never dying. Like Twinkies. So bad, yet deeply desired.”
― Rachel Corsini, Sushi and Sea Lions

“I still believe there are good people left in the world, and some of those good people happen to have penises.”
― Elizabeth Salo, Amazon in Exile

“Most people would be excited if I asked them out.
I’m not most people, so ask one of them out.

Leslie McClunis to Trevor Hampton”
― Carina Alyce, Wildcat

“He’s my soul mate, I can feel it,” Chloe says. She stands at the end of the dock and stares at the massive yacht, her eyes all sparkly and excited.
“Doubtful. The only thing I can feel is a hundred-foot-long inferiority complex.”
― Sarah Ready, Chasing Romeo

“Intentionally lost with no plans to be found.”
― R.J. Adams, I HATE YOU

“El amor cuando es de verdad no duele, quema.”
― Núria Mar, La eternidad del arcoíris

“¿Saltamos juntos al vacío?”
― Núria Mar, Después del arcoíris

“Call me 'Words,' describe me in 'Paras,' but do not forget to put 'U' & 'I' together.”
― Nilakshi Garg

“By the maker, Rezkin! I've never heard of anything so sadly romantic!

You commandeered military personnel, a ship, and crew, and manipulated the lives of a baron and the heirs of four high noble houses for months during the King's Tournament just to ensure the happiness of a woman in the event you do NOT get to marry her?”
― Kel Kade, Reign of Madness

“Great. Just flipping fantastic. He’s like a warm English fire after being caught in the rain, and I’m like a hillbilly tractor stuck in the mud.”
― Brooke Gilbert, The Paris Soulmate

“I was doing perfectly fine. I’m perfectly fine. I will make it to Paris on my own, unchaperoned and without assistance.”

“Well, you will need the pilot and the plane. Probably the crew as well,” he said nonchalantly.”
― Brooke Gilbert, The Paris Soulmate

“Is this 12B? This is going to be fun!” The British accent cut through the air like a wire cutter through clay. It sliced into me and my peaceful serenity that I had created.

“No, no, no, no,” I said, a little too emphatically. 

“No, this isn’t 12B or no, this isn't going to be fun?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”
― Brooke Gilbert, The Paris Soulmate

“He came to me and lifted my chin with his fingers so I looked directly at him. “What is it, Titalee?”
“Do you still like me?”
He was confused but after a few seconds; he tilted his face. “You even have to ask?”
He picked up my hair strands and said. “You have me wrapped around your single hair strand.”
― Madhu Pandey

“Reading a SoHo restaurant review in the New York Times for me is like reading Fifty Shades of Gravy. By the end of it, you're drooling and fully turned on for more."
Kim Lee
The Big Apple Took a Bite Of Me
Available on Amazon Books and Kindle”
― Kim Lee

“Eddie the Hot Guy:
Hey babe, how’s your shift going?

Alex the Sexy Bouncer:
Hey sexy, it’s boring without you to brighten it.

Eddie smiled to himself. He would have preferred to go dance with Alex too but he didn’t want to be one of those people who ditches all their friends when someone hot comes along.

Eddie the Hot Guy:
Aww, maybe this will help
*image*

Eddie sent a photo from the neck down with the covers rolled down, showing just the very base of his cock and top of his pubes.

Alex the Sexy Bouncer:
Nope. Didn’t help. Now I’m semi hard and wishing I was in your bed. Knowing it’s only a block away is painful.

Eddie chuckled. He had a point.

Eddie the Hot Guy:
Woops, sorry. I’ll make it up to you, call me when you get home. I don’t care what time, my only plans are to sleep in tomorrow anyway xx

Alex the Sexy Bouncer:
Well, that only seems fair, you did create this problem in my pants after all lol

Eddie the Hot Guy:
Talk soon xx”
― Jacklyn Fox, Unsuspecting Love: Can new love mend a broken heart?

“No puede matar a gente y ser atractivo. Confunde al personal.”
― Hannah Nicole Maehrer, Assistant to the Villain

“-¿De verdad se llama... Trystan?.

-¿No le gusta mi nombre?.

- No... Es que... No es lo que esperaba.

-Estoy totalmente seguro de que voy a lamentar y mucho esta pregunta, pero ¿qué es lo que esperaba?

-Fluffy.”
― Hannah Nicole Maehrer, Assistant to the Villain

“… It still doesn't change the fact that I cannot help you train in a gown."
"If you think I can't stab you while wearing skirts, you're sorely mistaken.”
― Maxym M. Martineau, House of Blight