Romantic Humor Quotes

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thirty-something woman in possession of a satisfying career and fabulous hairdo must be in want of very little”
― Shannon Hale, Austenland

“Well, you know. Some people are like wolves and some are like bears. And bears and wolves don’t go together. You don’t see me trying to convince you to be a wolf? So, why are you trying to convince me to be a bear?”
I could hear him blinking on the other side of the line. “Can you translate that into English?”
“Wolves mate for life. Bears hit and run.”
― Candice Raquel Lee, The Innocent: A Myth

“I’m a virgin, okay?”
There was a moment of silence while I assume he was struggling to understand the connection. Then he spoke.
“I’m not prejudiced against anyone.”
― Candice Raquel Lee, The Innocent: A Myth

“One night, we somehow ended up discussing Wile E. Coyote as a paradigm for obsession. She argued that Wile E., with all the resources he wasted on gadgets, could have been living high on the hog.
“He was so skinny,” she complained after she had Googled him and watched a few skits on YouTube. “Poor thing, he looks like a size-zero model.”
“But, Love, no other food would have satisfied him. He only wanted the Road Runner. He was obsessed with her. Obsession does not allow for satisfaction. You can never really eat your cake and have it too, which is the only way you can satisfy your obsession by devouring and yet having the object of your fascination,” I said from experience.
“But he really didn't want to catch it,” she argued.
“What do you mean?”
“It was the chase he wanted. To eat the Road Runner would have ended that, ended his only reason for living. He isn't really that inept. He really didn't want to catch it.”
“I guess not,” I said, thoughtfully. “It's the journey not the resolution that matters. If he caught her, he would lie down next to her and die too.”
― Candice Raquel Lee, The Innocent: A Myth

“Do you even have to ask? There is a party where you'll be half naked. Of course I'm taking you. I can't very well have any other guys on campus trying to get with my girl...”
― Amy Rachel Thompson, Retribution

“Oh, it's already on Facebook. I didn't feel the need to ask, you are mine...”
― Amy Rachel Thompson, Retribution

“I'm a freak,you're a freak. Your house makes rooms disappear. My house makes people disappear. Your shut-in uncle is nuts, my shut-in dad is a lunatic, so i don't know what you think makes us different." -Ethan Wate”
― Kami Garcia and Margret Stohl

“Well, I did tell you I couldn’t give you a thing. Maybe you’ve just realised that Alistair can give the god damn world, and the pleasure of kissing his shiny slap-head every day!”
― LeeAnn Whitaker, Never Another You

“I look around, hoping I can postpone the indignity of stuttering like a lunatic in front of the sexiest man alive – according to People magazine, twice – while giving him crazy eyes. Of course, everyone looks like they’re taken care of. Except for Mr. Sexypants, major Hollywood actor, Nathanial Stone, Sir.”
― D.L. Hess, Sir

“All this sexual tension is making me sweat.”
― T.J. Robinson, One More Last Chance

“I'm breaking the ‘did we think about having sex with a stranger’ tension vibe we have going now. It must be broken to return to equilibrium. Sex is a for couples. It has emotion and knowing each other for more than a week.

-Abby explaining why she kissed a man she met twelve hours ago.”
― Carina Alyce, Embers

“He would not allow the ravings of a deranged parrot to ruin his wedding day.”
― Tessa Dare, Three Nights with a Scoundrel