Patrick

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
― Jon Stewart

“If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?”
― Jon Stewart

“If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.”
― Jon Stewart

“Any idiot can face a crisis; it's this day-to-day living that wears you out.”
― Anton Chekhov