Coryn

“That we wanted to believe the best in others and the worst in ourselves and then finally, in order to heal, we saw with clarity that it was the other way around"

--Alice Little, No Contact Survivor”
― Alice Little, Healing the Traumatised Adult: Abused as a child and an adult? How to claim your life back now

“Many freeze types unconsciously believe that people and danger are synonymous, and that safety lies in solitude. Outside of fantasy, many give up entirely on the possibility of love. The freeze response, also known as the camouflage response, often triggers the individual into hiding, isolating and eschewing human contact as much as possible. This type can be so frozen in retreat mode that it seems as if their starter button is stuck in the ‘off’ position. It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child - ‘the lost child’ - who is forced to ‘choose’ and habituate to the freeze response… Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type’s defenses develop around classical dissociation.”
― Pete Walker

“Adults raised in a narcissistic homes cling to the fantasy that they can somehow manipulate or control their parent/family of origin system to get the recognition and approval they require (that is, to get their needs met.) They had this fantasy as children, and they maintain it as adults. The reality, though, is that they had little control over their parent system as children and have little control over it now.”
― Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman, The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment

“If it is your fault that your mother is miserable, it becomes a potentially fixable affront. Taking blame means that at least the hope of love is still there-all you have to do is deserve it.”
― Victoria Secunda, When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life