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Pookie

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Pookie is Currently Reading

Pookie is currently reading

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists

by Onno van der Hart

bookshelves: currently-reading, therapy

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Nov 01, 2026 01:06AM

Pookie is currently reading

The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness Out of Blame

by Pete Walker

bookshelves: currently-reading, therapy

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"I was not ready for the anger and grief and incredible loneliness this book unleashed inside me. I never realised I was hiding from so much feeling inside me my whole life. Its liberating, but also deeply overwhelming to just let myself FEEL so much. Such brilliant helpful work." — Oct 29, 2026 01:12PM

Nov 01, 2026 01:07AM

Pookie is currently reading

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

by Pete Walker

bookshelves: currently-reading, therapy, saved-my-life

Reading for the 2nd time

read in September 2026

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Pookie said: " The book that has probably changed my life. I heard the mentions of trauma based "hypervigilance" and PTSD seperately before but I never knew they were the same when it comes to Complex ptsd. This book is changing my life just like how CBT did in 202 The book that has probably changed my life. I heard the mentions of trauma based "hypervigilance" and PTSD seperately before but I never knew they were the same when it comes to Complex ptsd. This book is changing my life just like how CBT did in 2022. This was a crucial progressive step in my therapy discoveries and diagnosis and I am so so grateful to ali hazelwood for the novels Love Theoretically and Deep End which first mentioned these terms and for Not In Love for helping me grieve and feel seen for the shame survivors feel. The thing that made me angry and probably saved me the most was the insight of repitition compulsion, and the value in Grief and angering. This book was the final puzzlepiece to heal the part of myself left unhealed by CBT. While CBT only provided the cognitive solution, this book helped me realise why I needed it in the 1st place and helped me accept and love my dysfunctional brain in all its critical traumatic glory without shame. I hated how my pain, anxiety and feelings were even written off, rejected, or laughed at as me being "sensitive", or "weird" or "lost" , the worst insults were from the most obnoxious bullies and bosses, colleagues who told me to my face I must have been pampered, overprotected or only raised in a "friendly" environment just to fit their own entitled narrative and from society I had to suddenly confront that found the most unfair diabolically evil cruel thing to say to someone like me. For a while I thought I was autistic, pchizophrenic, avoidant attachment, socially anxious or attachment disorders as CBT suggested. That made me feel weaker and inferior to everyone else. But now I realise that neither my mind or my body was not born this way. Nor was it any related to my gender. It was purely learned by surviving abuse from a long time, trapped by childhood's dependency and powerlessness, and I kind of knew that all along, but still felt ashamed of it and confused why no matter how hard I tried, how much CBT I did, it never fully went away. The words Emotional Flashback gave me so much empowerment and replaced the more demeaning terms like sensitive or lacking in exposure. It validated my "srnsitivity" and made me realise I had nothing to be ashamed when it came to my feelings. They were my power. The sole power I had as a child. And I will never take them away from myself. I would always always remember and treat them as scars and marks of pain and strength my childhood self had shown. The most terrible thing I realised from this, the one that makes me afraid the most is was my repitition compulsion . was it the reason I tolerated an abusive boss, classmates, teachers for so long? absolutely. But what if it happens again? I have lost trust in myself to flee from narcissists and protect myself so much that I have frozen myself, blamed myself for it. But I guess it was too late the last time, and I do have more resources, reduced abusive family's ties, more awareness, more anger and less fear, and possibly a better environment in a batter field from now. I wish I found this book years ago. Its been a decade since it was published, maybe even before. I have been unconsciously chasing and searching after help in every novel I read and Im so happy it did give me the help I finally wanted. I dont know how long or how speedily I will recover from it, or how much exactly I already have and Indian therapists are assholes or dumbos. But I am glad I ateast got started on it, and in a much earlier way compared to my parents. Atleast it all ends with me. To have had this condition and successfully made such a self aware treatment and multidimensional recovery and helping other survivors do the same is fucking brilliant. Im so glad this research exists. And that thanks to my novels, I found it. Its albiet not as sprcific, or instructional as CBT and more vague. But I will treat this as my new Bible and start to follow it religiously. Ill be patient with myself however long it takes and I wont let anyone interrupt me or rush this. And this book itself spawned so many new list of book suggestions that Im very overwhelmed with all the work I have and wondering if Im overpreparing. Of course this is lifelong, and to an extent, unsolvable work. But no matter what anyone else says, I know this is whats the best thing for me to do right now. Maybe for the rest if my life even. I have the right to make my own life choices and I dont need anyones validation or permission to do it anymore. And authors like you make me see that every once in a while, even when I repeatedly forget. ...more "

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(page 67 of 376)
"I thought I had it, but I didnt know I had it THIS bad. I understand my father a lot now. I also understand my entire family a lot more. But this is kind of depressing. All the unfairness. All the meanness and maliganncy inside of people. Where is humanity going? Thank fuck I decided to put a stop the generational trauma right here with me. Ali Hazelwood had read a lot too on this topic. She has been wonderful really" — Sep 15, 2026 02:56AM

Oct 07, 2026 01:45PM · see review

See all 4 books that Pookie is reading…