Amanda Thompson

“If that made him heavy company sometimes, so be it. Who decreed that life was to be one long rowdy masquerade (punctuated with those little pets of melancholy indulged by a crowd who made a religion of their feelings)?”
― Howard Jacobson, Shylock Is My Name

“On Chivalry “Give your mother the front seat…. I don’t give a shit if she said you could have it, that’s what she’s supposed to do, and you’re supposed to say, ‘No, I insist.’ You think I’m gonna drive around with my wife in the backseat and a nine-year-old in the front? You’re a crazy son of a bitch.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“You go on ahead. I’d rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds’ urine.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says