Melissa

“Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.”
― Jon Stewart

“The judge's massive eyebrows crept up. "Kaldar. Are you the one speaking for the plaintiff today?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Well, shit," Dobe said. "I guess you're familiar with the law. You hit it over the head, set its house on fire, and got its sister pregnant.”
― Ilona Andrews, Bayou Moon

“Mencheres dragged her screaming from me only an hour after our binding!" Gregor said. "I don't give a rot if Mencheres yanked her off your throbbing, rigid cock," Bones snarled. "Go dream a little dream, you sod!”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave

“Then you remember the dream,” Mencheres stated. “That bodes ill.”
 
The fear of that made my reply snappy. “Hey, Walks Like An Egyptian, how about for once you drop the formal stuff and talk like you live in the twenty-first century?”
 
The shit’s gonna splatter, start buggin’, yo,” Mencheres responded instantly.
 
I stared at him, then burst out laughing, which was highly inappropriate considering the very grave warning he’d just conveyed.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave